. . . I failed so many times before . . but somehow , this time , failure meant something new to me , I've never felt any of this before .
It's like an engine in my chest driving so hard , nailing down all my vessels . A sourish feeling with a chill in it .
Feels so bad . My eyes don't even have the courage to cry . I didn't waver . except for the feeling in my chest .
what isit ? it's like a germ feeding on my chest . i cant get it out . I know i am not as calm .
It seems like an heartache yet not as pain but a little more bitter and bigger. Like catching a cold , so light yet seems so heavy . My body seem strong but deep in the inside , lies the never ending sorrow .
I know , i am sad I am forcing myself to plan . A plan which i never wanted to fulfill A plan i never had thought of doing in my life A plan that stole many things away from me .
Through the pain , I actually learnt nothing . . I didn't feel the regret i was supposed to feel I didn't feel the sadness failures should shown . I didn't even look like i am concerned for myself
I was lost , In my own world . I don't wanna run away from it . So, I shall bite my lips and turn it on .
I must let go of things i should . get the new stuffs out there waiting for me . . . .
I will walk this path alone . . . . . Down the way i walked once , once more . . .
