Sunday, November 30, 2008

9:09 AM

6:23 AM

Saturday, November 29, 2008

7:26 AM

Friday, November 28, 2008

7:55 AM

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

7:08 AM

Friday, November 21, 2008

8:42 AM

Today is weird and totally unexpecting . As usual i was force to wake up early in the morning at 10 to work for free . . . So i went to work .Work work work . with no pay. its sad . . . then suddenly , out of no where , one of my retarded customer came . i thought she want to ka chiau me like everyone does (cus i am too innocent and cute ) but to my horror , she say 'wah a talent like you wasted in such a place , why not work for my daughter ?'

From the moment she say i am a talent , i know she's not kidding . . . cus i am one .So i cleverly asked her what job isit . As she described the job , i knew i was born to do that , it's like my hidden talent is finally able to be given a chance to unleash it's full potential . I was full of excitement and my gorgeous face didnt break a sweat . cool .

She said her daughter is picky and only want handsome guys . Hehehe . no doubt , the handsome guy she's refering to is none other than me . So , in short her daughter is an agent and i am handsome so that makes us a perfect couple in terms of work .

So her name is Eyvone (i think). And i think she was charmed by my decent and smoothing voice so much that she class me under the 'immediate effect' list . Which means , i am going to start showing my handsome face for free in public at 1st december . HAHAHAHAHA .

That's what you get for being handsome . People come to you not you go to them .Basically my job is like running errands . i take care of a booth in a department store and when people come to me (cus i am handsome) I need to promote items on my booth and they will definitely buy it thanks to my seducing voice .But i am not a promoter , even if i am , i will be the most handsome one. When they are satisfied I take the item and bring it to the cashier with them , good right ? Got handsome people (me) escorting them . Business is going to rise when there's me on their side .

Ok . I will be working in singapore so there's no need to miss me although i know my talent can be shown in other countries too.I will be rich soon and i think i need to hire some bodygaurds incase terrorist attack me and i need to have a decoy when i go out incase jealous people spray acid on my handsome face .

Alright . Now i am glad . Although i felt like i am a psk to some of my friends but i think they are now regreting why aren't they as beautiful and charming like me . But nvm . dont take it to heart , friends . Cus when i am around , you guys have no chance of snatching my ' charming ' title away . . . maybe your next 100 life time . So now when i am not around , give it your best shot . Try to use moves that i always use . . . although I know that you can only think of gay , but , it's useful . . . to an extent .

But I think they dunno i can seduce the same sex too . HAHAHA . When they realise i hold this capability , i am going to be promoted to manager -'Manager Lun" how does that sound? cool right . No one stands a chance when they challenge me . HAHAHAHAHAHA . I am a good evil guy .









-So Long Suckers !
HAHAHAHAHA

2:39 AM

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Best of Me - Daniel Powter

9:13 AM

Anyone knows where to find this shirt???? other than bugis . WHERE . Cus i wan it . i love it . . . and i want it desperately . . . . anyone ? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaase :)

4:01 AM

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Haha . today is retarded plus the worst day of my life . I went to gym with my white skinned skinny gay friend . Afterwards we went to the cafe to eat .There we saw a few volleyball coach sitting next to our table and they look so skinny and gay so i thought of Mr.woo .

Then i say very loudly "No wonder singapore lose " then after awhile i say " I think mr woo is gay" then after like 5 secs , MRR.WOO came in the cafe !!! I was shocked so did the white gay . Then we laugh alot cus mr.woo is too old until cant see us when we were sitting beside him .And i cant imagine if his friends say 'eh that botak say you gay' hahaha . funny right .

And i dunno if his gay volleyball friends heard me saying they suc and mr woo gay .Then both of us went out and we were lucky cus the whole bunch of yuying volleyball team is coming in to take my autograph and thanks to me , we managed to escape it narrowly with a shark behind plus whale = shark whale Meeeooow*.

OK , so we decided to go home . I rode my Harley davidson bike there so i must ride it home . When i was thinking of using my nitro halfway , it rained . . . .This is a bad sign.It means that once i use my nitro , there will be earthquakes , black snow ,purple lightning ,Transparent flying meteors and butterflies . So i was trap like a retard in IMH around monfort there .

I cycle inside for one hour and keep getting back to the same spot cus the path is super tricky, I dont think anyone could pass through it , it's like solving a 100sided rubrics plus a 1000 boxed sudoku .So it took the one and only clever GuoLun aka one and only clever GuoLun like 59 mins to realise that the path is actually a big circle. damn ! I was tricked .

But of cus , luckily i was handsome and thanks to my close relationship with rain , the rain stopped . and i got home with flying colours and i think that this is a happy ending . But before i end , I shall end it with a count down .

8:49 AM

Monday, November 17, 2008

You know , i really got nothing to do , you know ? So i went to find things . And i found some half funny half retard things and half lame plus half time wasters minus one on the web and just wanna put it here .

☻The more you study, The more you know. The more you know, The more you forget. The more you forget, The less you know. So why study?

☻What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?

☻What happens when the earth turn 30 times faster?...You get your salary every day

☻Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.

☻Why are men like sperm cells? ...... Only one out of a million is useful.

☻How does a dummy catch a rabbit? ... He sits behind a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.

☻It is white and it stands in the corner? ....... A punished fridge

☻Why do the number of traffic accidents with stupid chinese girls increase at April 1st? ..... When the traffic light is red they think it is a joke

☻When 7-11 is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why is there a lock on the door ?

☻When you are not supposed to drive a car when you have been drinking, why do bars have a parking lot ?

☻When swiming is good for the development of our arms and legs, why do fish not have arms and legs ?

☻Do they have a coffee break at the tea factory ?

☻Why are you behind a computer, while in fact you are sitting in front of the screen ?

☻What do sheep count when they want to sleep ?

☻Who invented milking cows and what did he think when he started doing it ?

☻I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

☻Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.

☻Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.

☻Common sense isn't common

☻If I throw a stick, will you leave?

☻Conserve toilet paper, use both sides

☻Time is immortal because everyone is killing time everyday but it still survived .

Ok here's more lame one .

☻Why do hens lay eggs?
If they dropped them, they'd break

☻ What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

☻You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

☻We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

☻When he dies, they'll bury him face down, so that he can see where he's going.

☻He's so full of shit, his eyes are brown.

☻Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to

☻Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

☻What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

☻I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...





You cant blame me , i've got nth to do .

4:05 AM

Saturday, November 15, 2008

8:14 AM

Friday, November 14, 2008

OK i am bored so i decided to blog again . . . Now i feel like telling those people who they think they are very friendly that they are not.Just because you got a friendster doesnt mean you are friendly . Just because you smile retardedly everyday doesnt mean you are friendly . just because you read about how to be friendly doesnt mean you could be friendly .

You must be like me. I will laugh when i see people trying their best to joke although not funny . But i got this bad habit of not laughing at funny things unless it's done by accident and because of this habit , i look like a retard that dont know how to laugh .

Is there any medicine for laughing? Or isit that i laugh too much in my past life .I hope one day i could laugh at lame things .And its been like a few months since i laugh until my stomach hurts

I tried all means to make myself laugh from talking myself to taking pictures of myself .But it work like only for a minute ? Aiya nvm since i am away from the social life now , i think i shall store my laughter 1st so i will laugh like a retard when the time comes .



-Goodbye .

3:38 AM

I think i am going to be retarded soon . I feel that this holiday is meant to make ppl do retarded stuff . I just feel like a retard for no reason and i feel that this holiday is going to be long and gloomy .

I will be staying at home like a handicapped and then maybe burn my house or eat my socks . I feel that i am getting AIDS cus i am drinking too many of my house's tap water cus my drinking thingy is infested with ants and i dunno why the ant so clever go there drink . . .

I think i am a hopeless stick . I suddenly feel like talking to myself in the mirror . How i wish i was an insect and i will spray baygon at myself and die . I wish that there's no holiday . Cus my prediction would be that everyone would not adapt to this after 3 weeks or maybe before. mark my words . And then i think everyone will feel that most of their friends have died .

But I think i am worst cus i cant take it anymore . . . it's only been less than a week of holiday and i feel that my whole body is leaving me . And this feeling is retarded cus u get hungry all of a sudden then u suddenly feel like sleeping . I feel like tearing my pants cus it look disgusting .

I feel like eating sleeping pills so i can sleep until the day we collect our results . I want to jumping off the building to unleash my flying capability . I want to eat light bulbs and flush my underwear into the toilet bowl .

I also want to be stranded on an island and eaten by a tiger . I feel like making friends with my neighbour's dead dog . I feel like laughing for nothing and i want to sleep on the streets .Then i feel like spending hundreds of dollars on ang ku kway .And i feel lke going to all the house of the people i know and thank them for letting me know them .

I dunno what this feeling is it's like i can type until tmr also havent finish . I think i am really retarded .Am i a tard ? I think i might really jump of the building . Or isit cus i stop being gay and i suddenly feel so insecure? Or isit my guy side is coming back and i feel that i am being left behind ?

Or is the the feeling of life before death . I am dying right ? I feel that either I'm not gonna make it until next year or I am going to die after collecting my results .





- Goodbye

2:40 AM

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dont read if you dont feel like reading cus it's not interesting .But 241 must read .



I dont know why my hand so itchy today . So i think to ease my pain , I must write about somebody . Anyway , There's someone whom i hate alot and I feel like insulting him . And hope he sees this .


This fat busthird thinks he is a super important friend . He thinks after he deserts us we will cry and beg for him to hang out with us . The fact is , we dont care and we dont want to . It's actually good if he continues hanging out with those retarded dogs .


You know , dog hangs out with dogs and they check each other out by smelling each other's butt and that's an easy job for you cus you have a big butt , so big that even two of your face doesnt fit into it .


You guys want to know who i am writing about? OK . I shall not make it so obvious .He got a dog name ,Fatter than me , the only guy taller than me in the school and has white wax on his hair when he reaches school in the morning . Why don't you say that you do yourself over the weekend and it breaks your heart to wash away your precious white liquid .


Let me tell you guys his favorite hobby . Which is to do things behind his friend's back and to act tough infront of his guy friends .He always do things behind our back , from studying to even chatting . Then act like a emo kid when he's with us . If you notice him carefully he always has a force lips which he is trying to tell non-verbally that he is emo .


Hey fat emo , try losing some weight and chop one side of your butt away .That makes you look at least a little better than flat nose . You act like you got lots of prob but what? nothing? then go to girls and act all stressed up? You thing they will fall for you? Oh ya , maybe thanks to your cute little butt and your three year old philosophies .


Oh , come to think of it , I think he is suffering from this illness called -Desporadofym . It's a sad case for anybody who is suffering from it . The victim will go all out to achieve something and for his case , he will do anything to get a girl .


You are the real gay .Do you know how i can tell ? Lemme ask you guys a queation . So many people i gayed . They all turn into 'gays' too . You know why ? Cus it's fun gaying each other and we dont mind being laughed at .But for you , I dont think anybody have seen you gay before . Why? cus your acting rox .


You act like a man but the fact is you are the real gay .Hey gay , you dont like us cus we always disturb you right ? Once we disturb you show your stupid emo self which make you think you call the shots right . You know what kind of reaction is that? It's gay . Only gay act all emo when they are disturb by guys cus they do not know how to fight back and they dont want to hurt their guy's heart .


You are so gay , I think you are jealous that i get all the guys right? That's why you always avoided me and never really talk to me . Why do you like to put up an act so much? Your childhood dream going to hollywoods ? Go hollywood then , you might find yourself doing so great by acting gay cus you are one damned gay .


You dare to desert us and act like you are part of us? think again emo gay . You are messing with the wrong group . Still want hear hardcore rock . I think you like gay songs more than I do and what's more , you sing a long with the nursery rhymes your mother bought you for your 16 birthday right .

Don't start coming to me and act like a samaritan . I will fall for it you know , hollywood star . Don't ask me why i didn't say this in your face . Go seek enlightenment from chris crocker he might even teach you how to cut the size of your butt .

If you think i am immature you are worst . Don't need to be angry cus it's just natural for any human to react like this when they are hit in the bull's eye .

Ok goodnight . sleep well and dont dream of me.



-Your Dearest .

7:44 AM

Thanks , spanner , for helping me change the blogskin . But isit me or what ? why do i see myself on the images on top?



-Love you

12:36 AM

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Sian la i got nothing to do . . . . nvm now i not sian anymore cus i have thought of something hahaha . . . . . actually . . . I lied . . . I have thought of nothing . . . .

1:57 AM

Friday, November 7, 2008

Today i got a vision . . . .a vision of the future . . . lemme briefly describe my encounter from the start

Today was one of the sunniest day , it was so sunny that i think it's brighter than on a rainy day and i was at home feeling rather low cus i didn't feel much of a high so i decide to stare at the mirror . There was nothing in the mirror except my stunning + beautiful + charming + many many more . . . face . I tried to pull my eyes away from the mirror but for some weird reason , it stuck there .

So i tried to call for help . After 1hr of desperation , screaming in need of a hero , i realise i was at home and nobody was there . . . So , it was all up to me , GuoLun . Just by looking at my name you could relate me to many popular guys like yan ya lun , zhou jie lun , guo mei mei and many many more

Although they say blood is thicker than water , but . . .lemme tell you guys a heavenly secret .. . . GuoLun is thicker than blood .. sshhh there's no need to be shocked or have a 'what ?!?' respond . You know why i said that? Cus blood only have 5 letters and GuoLun have 6 letters . Get it kids ?

Even though i won by only 1 letters , you must think out of the box like what king Deede said .Think like a man , think like an animal , think using your brain and above all think like GuoLun .1 letter means alot . 1 doesnt mean 1.It might mean a million . If i said there's a raindrop , you know that it's raining right ?And rain are in huge number of raindrops. See? get it? 1= 1 mil And by the way , blood cheated cus it has 2 'o's So actually I won by 2

Do you know why is there standard form?Because it's created specially for me.For me to shorten my name . If there's no standard form , my mighty name wont fill in my birth cert and i will most likely live as an illegal immigrant .How sad could that be . . . a talent like me to land up in jail . . . But even if i am in jail , I might be acting in prison break (live) . Stay tuned . I mean i am not going to jail but just imagine that (you could take my place).

Ok , right now , right right now , right behind me now. . .right behind me now is actually the most terrible thing i could not see. . . . I have failed to see it since many years ago . . . It's not that i don't have the courage . . . Just blame god . . . Blame him for letting my eyes grow on the front . . . OK , please allow me to cut my story short . .. My fingers need to rest you know . . . And i am wearing a T-shirt . . . So , do you wish to know whats behind me? (PS : Don't get carried away cus you might be a victim too.) So , . . . right behind me now is . . . . my back .

Alright sorry for the drift . . . back to my topic of having a vision of the future . . . yea i was screaming right? ok . . .So i was in front of my mirror . I was dead thirsty . . . So i decided to brainstorm for no reason and you know what? I think my brain was having typhoons , tsunamis , lightning striking at 1times/sec ,cyclones . So much until it leaked out of my head and turned into my perspiration.

After looking at the world's most charming waterfall , i became thirsty . . . As you know i can't move my eyes as it's stuck looking at my image's eyes . So , I went thinking on what do those despo ppl do when they are thirsty and i came to a conclusion . . .to drink my . . yellow juice .

I decided to aim my bird to my mouth without looking and I used my telephaty to send my brain nerve to tell my bird to start work . So it started shooting but it miss like one damn three year old playing with water gun . . . But it was fun , like an automated water cooler , splash* splash *

So yea . . .I was unlucky . . So thirsty , stucked in the toilet , no one there . . . But thanks to my cleverness , I remembered that there was a tap below the mirror !!! hahaha i was so proud that i am such a clever guy . . . I'm so sure my O levels can get lesser than 45 points .

So without my eyes , i was blind . . . Thinking of blind , i thought of love . . .Those innocent kids that were blinded by love . . . So i decided to shed a tear for no reason . . . but nothing came out which made me so sad that i shed a tear . . .

Ok . . . my mouth was burning like the larva . . . hot yet calm . So I on the tap and splashed water at my face . I forgot i can't blink so water went into my dry eyes and it hurt alot . But i was gay enough to scream . . . After 10mins of splashing , I managed to get some acomplishments by getting my lips wet but i think i wasted only like 10 litres of water .

Hmmm . So what did I do next . . .OH! I remember . . . I tried to sing some jay chou song to test if i can break this mirror . But it failed , like always maybe my singing is just too nice? I think I shouldn't blame myself for that so i treated myself an 'Air Original Extra Strong Fisherman's Friend sweet'. Although it taste like nothing but i still like it cus it's from a hot guy , me .

So I think and I think and I think . . . . . . . . . Ah . . . . It lead me into deep meditation . . . I think i was blank staring at this point of time plus a little drolling thanks to staring at myself .

While i was meditating in front of the mirror , there was a sudden wave of shock , aka shock wave .The meditation was kind of scary so i decided to stop . . . And i was clever enough (again) to realise one thing . . . My eyes are stuck but my sexy legs can move !!!

So i moved around and to my surprise , My eyes came back to normal !!!! And just then , In a split less-than-a-second , I had a vision . . .

A vision of . . . . Those that have read this have just waste their time . . . . Is this true or false ? Please respond to my vision , because i want to know if i have the power to forsee the future . . . .








-GuoLun



hehehehehehehehehe
hahahahahahahahaha

5:36 AM

4:57 AM

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Today i thought of something . . . I feel i had to do this . . . . I feel like i was born to fulfill this . . . . My destiny . . . My life . . . My mission . . My vision . . . My honor . . . My son . . .My Dream . . . My hope . . . My future . . . My path . . . My belief . . . My face . . . My friends . . . My school . . .And many more My's . . .

To cut the story short . . . i decided to make it long . . so that it is short . . . yet long . . . .
Get ready . . .to see . . . The secret of successful people . . .

Oh god . . . why must it be me . . . . why? why ? why? Why am I the chosen one . . . But , it's ok . .since . . i am hot . . . and forgiving . It's so complicated . . like the hotties can't coexist with the coolies . How am i suppose to fulfill this task . . . it's like journey to the west . . . Why west out of the four . ..

Sigh* . . . I dreamt of it last night . . . I dreamt of . . .nvm . . . I have forgotten .But it's good to forget you know? It may be a blessing in disguise . . . Doesn't anybody have something they want to forget ?

Okay . . . enough ! I had enough of typing . . . I am going to reveal this . . . I call it Picanini .
Watch and learn kids

What kind of sweet do i like -

1) It must be mint and not soft sweets

2)It must be extra strong and no kiddo design

3)No sugar is fine as long as it is spicy

4)Make sure it is addictive

5)that's all

6) Sorry , actually this is a tabbo . I didn't meant to do this . . . i was forced .. by . . Uncle Picanini .You will find yourself gay in no time if you are a guy . And if you are a girl , you will find yourself short when u stand beside me . . . . This is so sad . . . . But dun give up hope . ..

Can't you see your computer giving off lights?Can't you see the star shining at you? This is the ray of hope *aaaahhhh* If you want ot avert this calamity . . . there's this sacred way . . and only this way . . . This is a pandemic caused by me . . Oh . . .i am so sad . . . but nevermind you still have me by your side .

To avert this chaos . . . say . . . (Read carefully cause your eyes is only going to read this once ). . . say this . . . . ( no peeping ) . . ' GuoLun is all mine ' (don't glance back , whats done is done ). . . sob* . . . I know this is tough but . . . you have to do it . . .



Since you have overcome this . . .and came so far . . .It's time . . .i shall reveal the truth to you guys . . .

I really admire you . . . I really can't do it without you . . . I know you were always quiet with your buddies . . . you know , I was always fantasizing about you and I . . . I was alwasy hoping we could be together forever and ever . . . I hold this feeling the first time I tasted you . . . I really really want to goble you up in one mouth but I just can't bear to do so . . . you look so cute so cute that I cant stop looking at you until you melt . . . I can't stop thinking of you even when i am eating . . .Yes this is a confession . . . I love you

I love you . . . Fisherman's Friend . . .I love it when you are Original . . . with the 'Extra strong Lozenges' tab . . . although it's only 22 of you but you weight as light as the feather , 25 grams . . . I promise to savour you slowly . . . Love you . . .Fisherman's Friend .




Alright , if you feel that you have just been punked , It's ok . . . I don't blame you .Just don't fall for the same . . .thing . Watch your back even if it mean by plucking your eyeballs if you fall for my fisherman . Don't walk alone at night even if it's in your dreams . Don't even think about anything that got to do with killing me . . .it won't work . Because i live in kryptonite .


Make sure you have ten . . . no hundred gaurd dog . But don't get dogs that have hyperconstibation like . . . cy . . nvm . You could try living in mars , maybe you might be the first human to get killed by martians ? Or maybe you could swim 20 laps of freestyle then i might forgive you .







From gay to lame . I made my first step . . . And thanks to chris crocker . . . I quit gay ( in the process)

- Guo Lun

7:18 AM

Monday, November 3, 2008

10:04 PM

Yea so long nvr blog . you all thought i die right? happy right ? hahaha but too bad i am still alive and ready to gay any guy out there muahahaha . Ok , I know like 99% of the ppl i know are despo for my post so i shall start with how unlucky i am .. . .

You know i was just releiving strees for the O's . So me KH and the mun went for the Ultimate Midnight Hottess guys walk 2008/2008/2008 . We from our check point - hougang point walk to kovan then hougang mall then back to hougang point .

But we havent complete yet so the next day we walk again . . .From hougang mall to compass point . . We didn't know how to walk so we nearly got lost but thanks to me I save the crew . And it took like 2hr plus to get from hougang mall to compass point . . . . Cus we are lost if not 1mins can alr

So we were too tired wait not me is them so we decided to take the bus home from compass . .
Midnight no bus ... So we clever thought there was alwasy hope no matter what .Yah hope . .Night ride came .

We all first timer so we board it .Kh and I tap our ezlink card then i saw smth wierd . . .you know concession will put 'pass concession' have a nice day' right. It came out my money balance but i dun care cus i thought i was too tired and always thinking of money . . .

then the mun cant go in cus the ezlink no money but we find it wierd cus he got concession
So , we thought his ezlink got prob and he decided to pay cash . . . . we all thought is like $1.80 or so like the Express bus . . then . . . .$350 . . ..

And the worst thing . . . The coin box got $2 already and no one in the bus got change . . .the smallest was $5 . . . And the Chinese driver got a stupid face like mocking us . So no choice lo
we put $5 inside . . . total ride is $14

It's like riding the longest taxi in singgapore . . . and the driver drive like mad dog never stop one and if got ppl flag for the bus he suddenly brake then make me fly infront . .. I think he dunno i severely underweight isit . . . $#@%!@

9:38 PM

Damn .. . . . i realize smth after 16 years . . . i am . . .not a human . . . .
actually i got a dark dark secret . . . i am . . . a human yet not a human . . .
see below

9:28 PM

My Hot World

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Say Something !-

My Beauty Self

Who am I: GuoLun the Hunk

What am I:I'm a Hunk

Why do people like me : Cause I'm a Hunk

Why is the earth round ? : Cause I'm a Hunk

Why I can't buy a car with $1 : Cause I'm a Hunk

My MSN : GLITH@HOTMAIL.Co.UK .

Zhen Guo Lun

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