there's this facebook group which is something like this
- I hate those nice and beautiful people calling themselves fat and ugly .
When I saw this I was so pissed off .
And of course , many people joined it which pissed me off further .
I mean I'm a Hunk , I can't be compared to those good looking people ,
I'm too good for them , It's unfair
But I can roughly understand them .
And I realised that many people actually are confused idiots .
When the good looking people says they don't look good , you hate them .
When the good looking people brag about their looks , you hate them
When the good looking people has a not quite good looking partner , you hate them .
When the good looking people never talks to you , you hate them .
When the good looking people talks alot to the opposite sex , you hate them .
Can't you guys spare a thought for good looking people ?
It's actually more stressful to be good looking than ugly .
When you're ugly , you most probably only think about looking better .
Whereas when you're good looking ,
you cant touch wood , step on grass in case they burn
you need stamina to run away from paparazzi and from stalkers .
And of course , you need a knight's bravery .
Because sometimes , Just by being good looking , is enough for some people of the same sex to want to rape you anytime .
Have to be prepared anytime .
So , As the Hunk , I shall eliminate those people that hates good looking people .
I will give them the worst torture
Like planting hair on their feet and pluck them out all at once .
poke their eyeball with toothpick .
A real life Happy Tree Friends .
If you're still not satisfied , I shall charm a human pig to rape you .
-GuoLun
10:57 PM
Saturday, December 26, 2009
I think I have became a No Lifer .
Everyday , My motivation to pass through the long day is because I want to grow my hair.
Hair needs time to grow right .
Then , If I feel like doing something ,
I would go to the Gym .
Gyming is getting really addictive to me .
I dunno why .
I like to feel really tired and then feel like sleeping .
I think I got to make plans for my next few weeks.
Then at least I am doing something .
I want to try new stuffs .
It seems fun .
-GuoLun
8:18 AM
Friday, December 25, 2009
I saw 2 Perverts on my bus today!!
Omg .
Girls , When changing clothes in the toilet or trying new clothes outside ,
PLEASE !!
Check your surroundings for cameras especially above .
Don't think you go in close the door safe already .
Don't act like stupid Bimbos , Tammy #2
It's like going into a Lion's den and getting eaten up and you dunno how you died .
Ok , let me tell you what i saw .
As you know , I am tall .
I have one advantage that short people never thought of .
Which is I can Easily peep into what people are doing with their phone .
Like their sms content , what they looking at , what video blah . . . .
You are short and When you look Down into your phone ,
you will think nth much is happening above as long as I don't make any big movements .
Actually it's really common sense that i can do that .
Okay so ,
These 2 guys were sitting in front of me in a SBS bus
One of them look really shitty and the other look like a trustworthy shit .
They were chit chatting about something in their phone .
So I kaypo go look .
And what !
They were browsing through an ALBUM of girls changing clothes .
Some pictures still can see their face one .
zzz
It's really alot .
I think there's bout 100 of them ?
I know not because I also look ok .
It's because they were chatting 'happily' all along the journey .
I Didn't be a hero and report them .
Cause I know it's useless catching these 2 while there are few thousand people that can download .
Prevention is definitely better .
people can download all these easily ,
it's best to stop the producer then naturally , no more downloaders .
So , girls ,
It's too bad you were born a female ,
It is a must to protect yourselves unless you prostitute .
I don't wanna see my friend's nude pictures in the News .
-GuoLun
5:32 AM
Monday, December 21, 2009
Am I like Out of Date .
Everybody's using Tumblr .
I Don't feel like changing cause I might get spotted for my talented talent
As a Hunk of course .
Recently , I'm so into Legs .
Omg , It's like a normal human has two legs .
And I just realised how much and how wonderful this two legs can do .
You can walk if you have 2 legs .
This also means that If you have one leg or no legs , You can't walk .
It's pretty straight forward .
There are many different kinds of Legs that I can list all day .
Like , Hairy , Elephant , Mango and Pineapples etc .
Elephant Legs are those like you know ,
Fat , Short .
Totally uncool .
Mango Legs are like On top like sand dune below like peanut .
Unproportional ,
Something like when you compare people playing Black Jack seriously to people playing Domino in the toilet .
Totally Unproportional.
Pineapple Legs means having Hair on the legs that are so sharp and pointy that you can have them as an Emergency Supper .
It's like when you go Kopitiam , And you realise you no toothpick to eat your Ba Chor Mee ( Chinese Pork Spaghetti ) .
Ah , that's when you pluck off your leg hair and use it to the fullest .
Fullest means Eat your Leg hair instead of your Head Hair
You Don't wanna eat your Head Hair in case it turns into Duck Porridge in your stomach .
I'm sure you know what's Hairy legs
It's like you accidentally ate a Bristle-Toothed Semi Purple Gorilla Thigh and It wanted revenge so it curse your Legs to be hairy .
It's not manly .
It's more like Manliness . Manly sounds abit gay .
And what's up with the Ten Toes I have ?
It's too many .
I don't even know what to do with one .
As I look at my toes , they are like Coral Reefs .
You know , When you wriggle them it's like Nemo swimming in your toes .
Yeah , then you try to find it to make it ' Finding Nemo' .
I think that's how the director thought of it's title .
Pretty Lame for a director .
And my knee , It kinda look like a Hamster .
Cute .
I like the bulging part .
The part where you use it to scrub the living room floor .
It's Round and kinda resembles my Balls Basket .
And above my Knees is my thigh muscles .
It's hard like a Frozen Chicken Kebab without tomato .
And I dunno why my thigh is connected to my body .
It looks so weird .
I prefer it connected to my face
I look Tuna like that .
And that's what I call Cool .
-GuoLun
4:17 AM
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Okay .
Have you ever like bathe half way then you forgot whether you had used the soap and shampoo ?
I almost ALWAYS experience that
It's like I've been bathing for the hundred thousand time and it's so boring inside.
So , I decided to think of stuff to entertain myself .
Like , why am I so hot .
But then after i think of that , I forgot whether i got put soap already or not .
It's like irritating .
I would stop there and think for 5 mins then in the end play safe bathe again .
What the .
Can someone invent something that tells me if i have used soap already not .
And I heard some Korean superstars is coming to my country .
What the heck are those Koreans trying to do ?
Are they like trying the impossible to charm those girls when I am at the same country?
What ?!?
Can like their Agent tell them to wake up their stupid idea ?
I the Hunk is over here !
Hello?
Yeah , You Korean Superstars look really really good , like wow .
But , I over here , is looking way way much better than you all .
Try to crack an Egg on your palm and cook scrambled eggs .
Lets see if you can do that .
They are like stepping into my place and claim that they are hot .
It's like a piece of Double Cheese Burger that tells me it is going to eat me up .
What the heck .
I'm not trying to shatter the hearts of those pretty faces , but , Better tell them to go back .
Cause , I , the 100% pure hot guy without Plastics in my skins
Is gonna be the only Hot guy in my country , my continent , my planet .
I dunno why , there is this bunch of Gundus that still persist on liking them .
Well , It's their life , They have no taste .
The only category i can think of that likes Korean Guys are Girls .
They like to hear their song ( which they most proly dunno what it means ) , act like Korean , AND the worst case scenario for me ,
Which is to think or fantasize they are in a relationship with one of them .
What !?!?!
Not saying that fantasizing is wrong but if you do it occasionally , you are no better than a retard in IMH .
Know what's Siao Zha Borh ?
Yah , That's those people .
I tell you what some did .
They bought everything that got to do with that superstar and spend like an Atomic Bomb .
Memorise their lyrics which they can't pronounce properly .
In the end . . . Those Korean boys don't even know them .
And all the money spent goes into the pockets of the producers , not the boys .
When you old , you regret .
BUT , there's a remedy for this .
Spend on me .
The Hunk .
At least you can get to know me real life not just chasing them when they come for sessions .
I will be a little grateful if you buy the whole orchard road for me .
or like buy me a country , maybe Russia ?
Not bad also .
Okay this is really a fact .
I'm not saying this cause I'm jealous or what .
Believe me , 99% celebs are not virgins .
Ya i don't believe it at first.
Until I saw with my own eyes that Wu zun , Yan Ya Lun all admitted they are not virgins
It was shocking cause Ya lun is only like 19 yrs old .
And then ltr on I realised most of them are really not virgins .
But still , some stupid girls still wan them .
Best get cheated
I be the first in queue to laugh
-GuoLun
6:14 AM
Monday, December 14, 2009
Aw man . . .
I'm sick !
Really !
I am down with Flu n Sore throat .
I think cus i ate too many Fish N' Chips .
I like to eat that . But i hate squeezing the lemons on it
I dunno why I hate fries .
But i like it when I stuff them in my mouth and chew .
Cus when it's inside my mouth , It has a nice potato taste .
If eat it piece by piece , it's like too salty and too small
HEY WAIT .
Wait wait wait . . . .
Something's wrong .
Why am I telling you guys about my life as a hunk .
But nvm , since I am sick , I shall be a good guy .
I got a good tip on how to be happy ( which I use )
haha
I always thought if you cant be happy from the inside , then Smile .
If you can't be happy from the outside , recall something nice .
If you can't be happy from the outside or inside , then do both !
It always works for me .
I dunno bout you guys .
But I do know that if you don't believe you can be happy or be proud of being happy ,
You Never Ever will be .
Oh , I know Girls like to have slim waist
I also like girls that got nice waist .
So , I'm gonna share a practical and good technique here.
Don't need spend money one .
which is to
1) Do Hula Hoops !!!!
Hula hoop uses all your waist muscles including your thighs .
Do like 15mins everyday and after a few months you will have a model's waist !!!
It's worth the time . Really .
And don't play cheat .
2) Don't Ever do sit ups or jog .
You will grow abs by doing sit ups
and it looks really gruesome on girls .
You will really grow fatter if you jog without eating proper meals everyday .
Because you will get hungry and will eat alot after jogging
Fat burns when you rest , not when jogging .
And what happens when your fats is burning and you get so hungry and start eating again?
Yeah , you grow fat again .
You don't eat , you faint .
And of cus , if possible don't take slimming pills or skip meals or whatever .
I think they do more bad than good .
Every path has it's puddle .
-GuoLun
6:25 AM
Monday, December 7, 2009
Hi dear readers ,
It's the first time I ever said hi over here , so , be honored .
Hmm . .
Have you guys ever have this want to get into the future but afraid ?
I mean like , wanting to know the answer but afraid it's not what you'd like to hear .
Yeah , admit it guys , Cus I'm also one of them .
Days and Nights passed , that it even reached months ever since I've gotten this phobia of the future .
It's like , I'm so hot already .
If I grew hotter , It would be the end of the world . . . .
As I thought of it ,
I might even kill myself accidentally cus I'm too hot !!
I want to know the answer that lies before me , Whether It's going to burn this paper heart of mine ?
Yes or No ?
But it's so terrifying ! I scared !!
My heart wrenched everyday , Thinking about this nearly every few minutes . .
I really really want to know it .
But , I'm a coward , I don't wanna get hurt .
If it's No , I can stay with everybody like normal .
But ,
If it's Yes , I will have to leave everybody once and for all .
Because I would be SO DELIGHTED !!!! .
If it's yes , I could go on into my own Fiery world .
And leave everything behind !
I heard Planet Honeymoon is extremely HOT down there .
How cool is that ?
Guess you guys don't know what I'm talking about .
I mean , as a hunk , living normally is tough .
Really .
Like a mud skipper living on land ,
I will have to go into the water every now and then to survive .
Suffocating .
But I know of a Remedy ,
It is only possible if the answer is a Yes .
And I really hope it would be .
This stupid heavy thought is going to disappear with my burning powers
I know of a person who can give me the most accurate answer .
Should I ask ?
I think so .
The answer had already been set ever since this question came into my mind .
Yeah ,
Soon , It's gonna be the time that I know if My heart can resist my burning !!
HAHAHAHAHAHA .
-GuoLun .
7:31 AM
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I'm recently into this song - Soaked by Adam Lambert .
He is gay and so is the song.
I especially like this part of the lyrics inside -
It's not the first time , It's not the worst crime , Your soul will be okay .
It's like so motivating !!!
To get you back on track if you ever got depressed or broken down .
I guess I'm gonna have to use it if i ever fall .
Like for example ,
If one day , I ever kill somebody on the streets with my charm , It's not the first time , It's not the worst crime , Your soul will be okay .
It's so , marvelous .
It basically tells me that it's really ok if i were to kill people with my charm accidentally.
Because if it's not ok ,
Then the few billions of people I've killed would definitely haunt me .
Wait . . . I think they would still haunt me . . . . .
To thank me for killing them that way .
Hey , c'mon ,
Not anyone could die like that just because they want to .
It's like an honor .
You can only die once like this
And if you were to die this way , I'm certain you'd rather die a thousand times like this .
It's addictive ok .
I'm so bored nowadays .
I really hope something interesting is going to happen in my life .
It is believed by some people that ,
How long you love somebody is How long it takes to forget that somebody .
Isit true ?
I dunno .
But I'm very sure that ,
If you force yourself to forget something , It just makes it clearer in your mind .
It's basic common sense which is uncommon in most people
Like ,
Many tried their best to forget how much of a Hunk I am , But in the end , I became a Hunk that is stuck on their mind 24/7 .
Actually , There's nothing in me to forget .
I am like the meaning of beauty .
Every time you talk about beauty , I am the best description .
"So ,What's Beauty ?"
"Oh , It's GuoLun . "
So simple .
An average female thinks about her appearance 36 times a day .
That's what i heard on the radio .
That's so unlike Hunks .
The truth behind the scenes is that ,
Me , as a hunk , Think about other people appearance more than myself .
When i see people putting in so much effort on what they wear ,
I start to wonder ,
Is this fair ?
They look like some . . . . things . ( I don't wanna be a Jerk . )
and they wear so nice and gorgeous.
It's like trying to make them more ugly .
Put a nice looking person beside a super ugly person ,
And the nice look on the nice looking person would amplify .
Put a nice looking person beside a nicer looking person ,
And the nice look on the nice looking person would degrade .
Get what i mean ?
Wearing nice looking shirt when you are not that nice looking would make you look really not nice looking .
So , as a Hunk , I shall give you guys some fashion tips .
- Wear not to impress , and you will look more impressive than someone who puts effort in what they wear .
For example , you wear Singlet , Shorts and Slippers to town .
By right , It's really a NO and you should not even consider it .
But think again , People that goes to town wears clothes that are so nice .
Competing would be hard if you can think .
And nobody wants to lose !
If you wear Singlet Shorts and Slippers ,
No one can compete with you ,
You can't lose ,
They won't laugh ,
And what's more ,
They will stare at you !!!
It's not because you are weird ,
It's because they are impressed until they can't speak , only can stare !!
See,
It's so simple .
Try it ! .
-GuoLun
9:13 AM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Oh ,
Missing the hunk's posts ?
The blog's handsome owner is just too cool to blog .
But he later realised that he wasn't cool at all . . . . he was magnificently HOT !
Let me give you a Riddle I just thought of .
-What do you call me If I were a Bird ?
I'll give you the answer later on .
For now ,
Lemme tell you what I hate now .
I really super duper hate those Bloody Gundus running in the MRT station .
Not because they are trying to tell everybody that they are rushing (which everyone is most likely to )
Nor they make stupid weak amateur idiotic pathetic homo panting faces infront of me .
BUT I'm so pissed off at some of the reactions later on .
They steal away my attracted attention ,
They pollute my clean air above with their Morning-Breath-of-Death ,
They run and after knocking into countless people they have to wait like those that had been knocked on .
These are all the minority actually ,
The Major Crime that they did is actually knocking into me and never say something important !!!!!
Not 'Sorry' to those dumbasses who are guessing .
It's 'OUCH !' in agony and pain !!
Without saying that is like trying to say I'm unHot and touching me doesn't burn you .
It's like what only .
If it's hot , please , scream and moan , It's normal anyway .
I'm Hot , It's a fact .
Nobody can change it .
Now that I think of it ,
Just by being Good Looking , has already given some people the reason to hate you and the want to take everything away from you .
I wonder if there are terrorist in the Station trying to kidnap me and threaten the world with my life . . . .
It's OK if I die But ,
I'm quite concerned for the future of Earth Planet without me .
Because without me ,
It will be Ice Age again the next Millisecond .
I think I better ask Jacky Chan to do some Chinese Twin Dragon Double Somersault Toe Poke with a Hong Kong style Flying Monkey and Shy Gorilla Slap on Osama .
I think Osama most likely die lah .
Great Chan thinks alike .
He must also be thinking that I'm a - One of a Kind Hunk .
Anyway , Does saying Chan after a person's name means that person is Cute , in Japan ?
It's like Originated from me .
I'm so Cute that a word is made from me ?
That's Believable .
Then does saying Chan infront of a person name means that the person is like indescribably Cute to the extend where his cuteness is like , Boom Boom Pow ?
