Saturday, May 30, 2009

Okay .

Since i retained and most of you dunno what i don't like , I shall say it all over again

I don't like people to wish me good luck before exams or what ever

Ain't wishing for something means there's a lack of something ?

For example , " I wish you would recover from your illness as soon as possible " .
" I wish that you can learn this faster ." " I wish i could fly" . " I wish i were george. B "

And doesn't wishing me good luck means i lack of luck ?

That's like insulting me without you knowing it and that totally suck

You should like wish me bad luck .

This shows I have so much luck until you have to wish some away .

Get it ?

But you guys can save your energy .

I am generous , so , I shall wish you guys bad luck before exams or whatever .

wow. . .

Now that i think of it . . . no wonder so many did not make it to poly or jc .

Miraculous . . . .

-GuoLun

8:42 AM

Friday, May 29, 2009

Wow , Being humble is tougher than i thought .

But i shall not give up and continue this self challenge .

After reading kelvin's post , I dunno why i am so proud and honored to be one of his friend .

He said he is super looking forward to 10th June . . . which . . . touched me until I . . . . cried . . .

That's the day , we've longed so much , to see everyone again .

. . . Fck .

Why in the world should i be humble . LOL

10th june ah

Aiya .

Expecting like 40 people to come ?

For?

To see me la . Obviously

And kelvin , you dont have to write how much you look forward to see me . I know I know

But your blog's way better compared to somebody's

Whose butt is like 2 times of my face .

complaint complaint then act emo .

hopefully he doesnt attend that gathering

My charm and charisma is not allowed for dumb asses to admire .

good good at least you got influence by my charm the right way . Unlike him .

Ah . tomorrow ah . I cant go the BBQ . Thanks to so many girls who wants to date me .

And rejecting is like so boring already so , I think i should accept some ( not much , 20 only )

Omg . . . I cant believe i have just typed those .

Nevermind . at least the first part was humble .

Thanks for reading my posts .

-GuoLun

5:32 AM

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Okay . . .

HUMan + CapaBLE = Humble .

from today , I am going to be a capable human .

Sorry , If i ever insulted you , my friend.

Cause i just realised , only your sunny flavored smile can warm my heart , The magic that makes my most beautiful smile appear .

But your frown , makes me feel even lonelier than the moonlight . The undeniable pain I felt behind the left pocket of my shirt .

So ,

Good .

-GuoLun

7:32 AM

Monday, May 25, 2009

Aiya .

It's time to reveal the truth .

About the mysterious case of GuoLun having pimples (which totally don't rhyme ).

It seems like through basketball , my open wound had touch another bledy bastard's open wound .

OK , in short ,

I got AIDS . . . .

. . . Not , obviously .

You know whats the difference between PEAple and PEOple ?

The one with Pea are people with Pea Brains (you , if you thought I got AIDS just now)

The one with O are people with Ordinary brains .( not me yet )

And we all know there are many different class of humans .

Example ; Retard , Fagot , Dogs

and some special ones are classed as PIMPple .

This are like the outcast/rejects in the human community

They are like the most Pathetic Irish Moldy Pomegranate .

But sadly , i dunno why , 99%of the PEAple I know are PIMPples .

this is a Pathetic Pomegranate -

Doesn't the smoothness reminds you of something ,

Lemme give you a hint , ah nvm I dun think PEOple needs it

I don't give a damn about PEAple .

Anyway ,this Pathetic Pomegranate looks like your brain right .

Now imagine it is Irish and moldy .

Means it looks like this picture in case you PEAple don't get what i meant .

OK , this reflects a hell lot about you ,

If you see a Pig , you are a PEAple

If you see a green tea bottle , you are gay

If you see a kid , you are a pedophile .

If you see my handsome face , you are a Hunk but that's impossible so don't bother finding it .

So , which of those did you see?

Judging from your stupidity and idiocy to read my post until here , you should see a pig right ?

Great !! Superb!! ( i am talking about myself , PEAple)

But , as a reward , I shall tell you how i got pimples .

As you know , I'm a Hunk .

so Hunk are often forced to socialize in pubs .

And obviously i am a one in a mil hunk .

So when i walk in , it's like 100 kisses per step .

It's like Rambo firing Ak74 at Osama's face

Obviously i grow pimples right .

I am kind enough to let them kiss me and they so inconsiderate to do it without washing their mouth 1st .

Some mouth even smell like smelly tofu , fried one some more .

. . . Desperate PEAple . . .

So , it's not really good to be a hunk .

Therefore , I'll soon be finding ways to turn uglier ,

No no , turn back to below average guy cus turning uglier still makes me hotter than most guys.

-GuoLun

5:49 AM

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Phak !

I bumped onto this cool phrase

" Between the Future and Tomorrow , Which comes first ?"

this kind of phrase is cool , but i hate it .

Cus this kind of phrase always makes people think alot of rubbish then feel very guilty later on .

Like what la " If you have 5mins left in your life what would you do?"

If i could predict i have 5mins left , I would have long became a fortune teller and make a hell lot of fortune

and then maybe kill ppl who I love and burn hell notes for myself then die 5mins later .

So , i can live in heaven with them and have what ever i want .

That's such a bliss . i think .

I also want create one leh .

"Hunks are human magnets. Are you repelling or attracting?"

aiya not good enough

"Hunks always attract unwanted attention ,It's better not to be one . "

Ah !

yes yes that best describe what i am always experiencing

Oh ok ,

I've decided .

I'll not be going on the 30 may cus i got O lv 2 days ltr .

So , dont look forward to that day cus you cant get to see me .

-GuoLun

6:32 AM

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Walao .

I think i did really badly for my common test .

compared to what i intended to get .

I intend to get like -10,000 pnts

but i failed . . . .

. . . I thought i can get full marks for all the subj .

but i screwed it up . . . (although is i purposely get low one )

The worst thing My HUM

get F9 .

and the marks starts with a 3

which reminds me of my pimples . . .

Actually i can get full marks for my HUM

but i dun wan

cus very paiseh like i get full marks the rest get so low .

ltr i laugh at them until my teeth drop how ?

And i deproved compared to my 1st CT

Hmmm . ..

I must be spending too much time dating . . .

who ask me to be beyond a hunk ?

aiya sad la . . .

want to be normal also cannot .

Now i want go out also hard sia .

Always got paparazzi follow if not is model agent come find me

My life is so tough . . . .

I'm like an endangered animal .

Always being hunted

the only difference is that they hunt me for my hunkyness

-GuoLun

6:12 AM

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

OMG !!

This is COOL !!!

Change of plans!!!

And I'm loving it !!!!

Good good !!!

But as you know , hunks are busy people .

I'll try attend both if i have less than 20 dates on both days

If can't I would most likely the chalet only .

So , If you wanna catch me , go chalet .

I'm neutral .

Anyway ,

3 more days !!!

is the rebirthl of the world's smoothest skin !!!!

It's recovering kinda fast for people who DON'T rely on facial wash

-GuoLun

Think of your face , headache .

8:07 AM

Monday, May 18, 2009

Exams are over .

Yay?

I nvr really studied and now i feel abit guilty . . . actually very guilty .

Things are starting to get boring for me man . .

Now i cannot insult people . . . .

And the worst thing , insulting people is my hobby . . .

Great . . .

And fck .

This is damn fck up

Why cancel class chalet .

I was like looking forward to that day so much until it suddenly burst today . . .

I miss alot people leh .

Walao.

I miss their immaturity

Alamak

Nvm .

I still rmb 241 .

I gonna make some 241 outing .

We go conquer the whole cinema .

-GuoLun

If you are patient in a moment of anger , you will escape a hindered days of sorrow .

5:05 AM

Friday, May 15, 2009

This happened 2 days ago . .

What's wrong with the cops man . . .

Today is my swayest day in my whole imortalhunk life . . .

Can you believe it ?

I was walking home like a innocent 3 yr old kid then suddenly 2 cops came to me.

i tot they wan ask me if any suspicious character around but i was WRONG . TOTALLY !

They came up to me , and ask me for my NRIC , wallet handphone and my belongings then cuff me and send me to NPC for questioning .

WTF

I was so shocked but i remain brave .

If i walked faster i might reach home and not see them . . .

So i was sent into a small room and waited for like 15mins for an Indian police to come.

And they were so fcking dumb to put a coffee for me on the table and cuff me . . .

Then he came in and say " Boy , do you know why are you here? "

Obviously i dunno right .

so i say dunno lo .

Then he straight away gimme one piece of paper .

And you know what it says?

Fine :$5000/-
Bail : $6000/-

Fck him .

what did i do ?

I nvr spit smoke or bring parang or what ever

I was like so kind .

I even help the ants to carry bread crumbs to their nest and i even sing to lizards in my house.

And i was FINED $5000 ?!?!?

Fck the cops .

I am only a teenager expect me to pay so much cb what nonsense is this.

But the truth finally shown itself . . .

And now i finally get it . . .

I read the details of why i was fined and brought there . .

And this is what is says -

Chan Guo Lun , Is guilty of being classed beyond a Human Hunk and is now being officially classed as a Mutant Hunk ,Code name : Aaron .Therefore he is being fined $5000/- for making the Singapore Hospital filled with fainted Females and as expected , Males too. He is to be either become Uglier or Quarantined from Humans .

Ahh. . . Now i get it .

And i instantly thought of a good plan

I called my best friend Rubeus Hagrid for some pimple pills .

Then he straight away rushed down from Hogwarts with his dog

and gimme the pills .

They were pea sized heart-shaped pink in colour pills .

I ate then i grew pimple instantly

The cops . . . unfortunately . . . . fainted before i grew pimples .

So that's my unlucky day . . .

To grow 3 pimples . . .

-GuoLun

7:41 AM

Monday, May 11, 2009

It's not about the size of me in the fight , It's about the size of the fight in me .

-M.Twain.

This quote motivates me but at the same time , the more it motivates me , the more insulted i feel .

To think there's a possibility of losing to a hamster in a fight . . .

. . . pathetic

-GuoLun

7:22 AM

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Wow today . . .

All i could say is

I AM BACK FROM THE WAR ZONE . ALIVE !!!!!

Match with WN today .

I expected to get thrashed but not thrashed plus injured teammates .

They are like a pack of retarded dogs .

Teammate got punched on the stomach and referee didn't see . . .

I went in less than 20secs kanna kiao on my face

And then my leg bleed alittle .

And of course MORE .

I dun wanna say anymore .

and so lucky .

A pimple grew on my face . I can finally feel how a pimple on my face is like .

But dun be too happy for me guys . . .

this might be a bad sign

Maybe this just shows that i am even hotter than ever before MUAHAHHAHA

Or maybe new virus , Pimple Flu ?

Or maybe the world is gonna explode ?

Fck i am dying.

Anyway , good time to buy 4D .

make sure it has the number 5 and 1 .

cus i 5mths grow 1 pimple

Alamak .

not my day . So many bad things happen . . .

I have new teeth growing behind my original set of teeth .

Adult teeth i think

and i keep on biting onto the skin beside it when i chew my chewing gum .

-GuoLun.

8:11 AM

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Thursday was the face off between P.Lakers and Tagawa .

Tagawa is the champ so obviously we would lose .

we got thrashed by36 pnts .

which is ALOT .

And my next match in on sun VS Whye Nam .

And i expect to lose by like 30 pnts

Cus that team is filled with ang moh and 3/4 of their players are like as tall as me or taller .

Alright .

Oh my god . .

Do you know about the world's seven wonders ?

The great wall of china . .blah blah

Now change to The world's Eight wonders !!!!

OMFG .

and do you know what's the new wonder ?

Oh man , don't be shocked cus it's expected . . .

It's ME , And i am called the - Toh Eht Noraa

Sounds so damn cool right

Like some ancient warrior of the sun AKA world's hottest warrior .

But incase you nincompops dunno whats that ,

It's actually the inverse of Aaron The Hot Understand?.

Of course there's a reason to everything .

There's a reason why I am opted world widely , by every single cell on this planet.

It's because of pandemics occuring randomly around this blue ball filled with water (I'm talkin bout the Earth you stupid .) .

With me around , 69 km - radius wide will be clean and free of virus .

You know why?

This is all thanks to my body which emits hotness all around it.

So much that all virus is killed .

And that's why people around me always grow pimples .

It's heaty beside me you know .

I am even featured in Ripley's believe it or not top encounters!!!

Hai . .. everyone is borned to be something . .

And I , is to be hot . . .

-GuoLun

3:12 AM

Monday, May 4, 2009

Oh man . . . .

First bird , now pig

what's next ?

Nuts?

Thanks to H1N1 , we have to suck long stuff every morn .

which sucks .

And i gotta say , The people creating names for the virus seriously need a hell lot more of creativity and imagination . . .

1st it's H5N1 then they minus 4 from it

which now becomes , H1N1 .

Is deducting 4 all they can think off ???

Aw man . . .

If that's the case then it up to me . . . the wonderboy . . . to do wonders . . .

ssshhh . . . don't be astonished by the wonders i am about to create . . .

Can't they think of something like this ,

like for H1N1 , Ice blend pork feet with 3 semi curls of pig tail special latte and Wild boar's butt hair Fluenza

Or maybe for H5N1 , Sweet and sour boiled peacock's eyeball with smashed pigeon's gut in bird's nest Fluenza .

See , that just killed less than one of my brain cells to think of .

And they can't?

And they wanna save us?

What nonsense .

How could i place my life in their hands when they think of such stupid name .

what if the new medicine name is called bo bo cha cha?

Do you want to take it?

But I'm sure you gonna take it if it's called GuoLun .

If i could donate some of my Wonder Brain cells , I would gladly do it and even gratify them .

Hmmm now that i think of it . . .

What if you were contaminated with swine and bird flu together ?

My oh my . . .

Boar'sHairyBirdie flu is what you get . . . . . . H6N2

oh man . . . .

Just by having those words pass through your mind would at least cast you on a one hour stroke (heat stroke if you are thinking of me ) .

I don't wanna say they consequences of contaminating Boar'sBirdie flu . . .

But for the sake of mankind , I , the wonderboy , shall once again save humanity from extinction !!!

Getting caught by Boar'sHairyBirdie flu is like

like turning into a hairy pig and getting peck by birds on your balls . . . i mean pecked on your face which makes you look like you have more pimples . . .

and maybe some Airpork guy will mistake you as a pig and slaughter you for food .

which means , your friend might be eating you . . . sad case . .

The cure for it is still unknown

But , I am going to be my own test subject .

So , stay tuned for the cure !!

Why is there no cat flavored dog food ?

-GuoLun

7:34 AM

Sunday, May 3, 2009

OKay . . . swine flu ah .

Trendy for pigs .

now , it's human . . .

and it's really insulting .

it's like human being class as pigs . ( although some people are proud)

I have been having deep thoughts about pigs .

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

In my ultra humble opinion , Swine flu will only happen to people that are fat pigs in disguise .

Yeah . i think you guys roughly have an image of Somebody ah .

hopefully it's not yourself .

see , admit it , you guys are not as pure as you think you are.

you guys are like the most evil creature in this world .

so disgusting and your mind full of pig like thoughts

unfit to live , full of pimples

How could you class human together with pigs .

it's like totally insulting mankind.

You want your mom . . . ah nvm give you chance .

Pigs are like . . . like . . . the greatest thing ever .

how could life be complete without pigs?

Pig brain is like so nutritious .

If there is no pigs , you cant get swine flu and die

And your hell's passport will write -

Death cause :Killed by Pigs .

Feelin' honored?

Then why hesitate?

Go to Airpork and date the pigs .

Or you can lure pigs into your house by acting pig .

I will attend your funeral which i know will make you feel more honored .

Remember to thank me in my dream for this unthinkable idea !

-GuoLun

1:29 AM

Saturday, May 2, 2009

OMG

what have i done !!!

why are people believing my lies when it's pretty obvious I'm lying !!

It's so funny when i dont mean it and people think i'm for real .

I can only feel sorry for you guys if you choose listening to them telling you my lies or continue digging facts of my life out of my lie

I'm not gonna apologise if the lie hurt you , embarrass you or turn you into a dickweed.

a lie is meant to do wonders beyond expectation (a bad one for my case )

And mind you ,not that i wanna follow the crowd , everyone lies so don't bother yanking at me why shouldn't I lie .

. . . whatever .

this is a colour i think , a beautiful one ,for my life .

-GuoLun

The walls have ears .

Deviate an inch , lose a hundred miles

2:17 AM