Wow , Today is the most Challenging Day of my Life !
I step into class and the first thing the Lecturer ask me is to Draw My Self Potrait .
SELF POTRAIT ?!?!
What the hell is He thinking about ?
I know a Picture can paint a thousand words .
I don't even care if it can Paint a Million or a Billion Words .
The Problem is , how can My Beauty Be Even Drawn out ?
I'm so Enchanting that Drawing myself takes a thousand times more skills than to draw the Best Talisman in the World .
No way I'm gonna Acomplish this Task .
You ask me to Burn the Whole Class still Ok for me But Self Potrait is a No No .
This Will take me a Million years to complete and when I get Fed Up because I'm Too Handsome to be Drawn ,
I will Just turn the paper into Ashes .
I'm Merciless because I don't Pray to the Goddess o Mercy .
Anyway ,
Sometimes when you are dissapointed that your Stylist gave you a Crappy Cut ,
It's not their fault .
It's Yours .
And The reason is Because you are Purely Stupid .
Stupid , Get it ?
You are either Stupid enough to be unable to communicate properly to the stylist or you Visited some shit stylist .
But , if you Did those two things Properly ,
Then you must have Wanted to be Me , The Ultimate Hunk , really Badly ah !
This Applies to Both Sexes .
Aw , I'm so Touched .
Every now and then , I hear People say their New Hair Cut like Rubbish or what .
Then I realised they are Indirectly saying " GUOLUN !! YOU ARE SO HOT !! HOW I WISH I GOT YOUR HAIR !!! PLEASE IMPART SOME HOTNESS INTO ME PLEASSSSSSSEEEEEE !!! "
Pathetic .
How in the World am I able to 'Impart Hotness' Into you Humans .
You would Just Turn into Dust Straigh away .
Mind you , I'm 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Fahrenheit .
Even by Looking at me , you will Melt and Evaporate .
So Imparting my Hotness to you Is really Impossible unless you are a Hunk ,
Which Only I am in the Whole Universe .
If you Read Until Here , Means I am Handsome .
Thanks !
-GuoLun
5:46 AM
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Hmmm . .
I feel like telling out one of my Big and Handsome Secrets Here today .
Okay I shall reveal it !
Um , When I'm at home alone , I will sing Songs !!!
You don't have to be Amused because that's not part of the Secret , Dumb .
The secret is , I can Sing Very WELL !
HAHAHAHAHA !
And the major reason why I don't sing when there are alot of people is ,
I'm actually a Very Humble Young Hunk .
Anyway , I've been singing Justin Bieber song This few days and I realise That there are Alot of People Hating Justin Bieber .
They say He Suck , Voice sound Like Ku Niang and what he Look like my Toe Nail .
As a Young Hunk , I'm Easily Curious about why that Young ang moh Chap is Being Internally Abused .
So I Think and Think and I came to an Ultimate Conclusion !!
He Suck Because I'm Singing His songs .
My Voice is So beautiful that When the Frog Egg hears it , It turns into a Frog and Dies Instantly because His Life has been Completed .
. . . The Butterfly I saw Just now was Hot .
And Justin Bieber Looks like Crap Because I'm Too Handsome .
Mind Him , I'm the Hunk .
how is it possible for him to look better than I do .
Sometimes When I look at myself in the Mirror , I can't even recognise myself man .
Who is that peice of Magnificent Beauty Infront of me ?
Oh , it's just me .
And so sian , My holidays are ending already .
I've only completed 1/3 of my work ?
I'm dead .
-GuoLun
7:55 AM
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Today i very suay sia .
I lost part of my earring and I bought it yesterday .
Then when i work I never eat my lunch due to some miscommunication .
And the worst thing .
WORST .
Is that Whenever i go home from hougang point , I got my own route .
Since I've been living there for like 10 years , It's only natural that I know where can walk where cannot .
So , I was walking home from hougang point .
And I walk in the Middle of a Road which I always do at that place .
And then some Mofo From behind Horn me .
Horn nvm Because I never see or hear the car coming .
When He pass by me still can say " Eh , your dad road ah , walk in the middle . "
I am the HUNK .
What Foolish Nonsense is he uttering , of course I can walk in the middle lah .
Doesn't he have the eyes to see that my back have no eyes .
His Son still beside him and I think he is only primary school ?
I hope one day his son grow up become like him sia then Kenna Whack by Pai kia .
Face come out in First page of News Paper and Obituary .
I laugh until my teeth drop .
Lucky him that I kept my cool just now .
If not , Hougang will have a Firework already .
I give his car one Rolling Thunder Kick and make sure it Flies to the sky then I give it a Fist of Charm
Make him pai seh ah .
His car plate SBC 9814 .
I forgot the last Letter .
Inside the car dare to talk lah ,
I got car I also dare to talk .
Scared already can drive away what .
But I can use my Feng Huo Lun to catch him .
Stupig Pea brainer .
-GuoLun
5:18 AM
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Okay , I've just finished trimming my armpit hair .
And after Admiring both of my armpits with Proffesional Judgement ,
I realised that they look better than most hairs on people's head .
I dunno how to describe my armpit with it's new hair cut but , um . . . I can easily Charm people just by flashing my armpit ?
I'm like so Hot that even though I anyhow trim my armpit hair , It looks like some world class limited edition Arm Pit .
I think I shall call this Style - The Cream of Hunk .
I saw a group in FB that says ' the best things in life are illegal , bad or fattening . '
I'm Laughing Out Leprechauns !!
What do you call the 'best'
IT'S ME , THE MIGHTY HUNK !!
HAHAHAHAHA
I'M THE BEST !
Being a Hunk is the best thing in a Life .
It's not Illegal , bad or fattening .
Okay maybe a little bad cus I keep making people Melt then Evaporate .
I'm borned for people to Admire .
Anyway ,
It takes alot of Courage and Stupidity for anyone to think that I'm UnHot .
Even for me , Thinking that I'm UnHot is like Impossible .
Because I will be only Lying to myself .
No way a Hunk is doing that .
If you think I'm UnHot , Go ask your doctor to X-Ray your brains .
Who knows you might find a Fish Bone stuck inside .
Or maybe when you were young you hit your head and your Brain got Inverted ?
I went to join a Group in FB called I want to touch a Cloud .
Yeah , I really want to touch it .
BUT , Thanks to my Natural Heat Radiation , It always evaporate when I nearly touch it .
( I can Fly )
So , sometimes being Hot is not really good .
I tried to be Cool but I failed , My Hotness is too Overpowering .
I'm afraid one day it might Overtake my body and then earth becomes the Second Sun .
