Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Okay I'm feeling abit weird . . . . must be puberty i think . . . or pregnant ? who knows ? Anyway ,I'm sure that anybody that is considered normal knows smiling is one of the most beautiful thing you can do even if you are hopelessly ugly .I mean if you put a smiley face on a shit it will look better right ? I think . . .But , the hurtful truth is , not all smiles are beautiful .Or should I rephrase it,Not all smiles are as beautiful , charming , elegant , seductive , charismatic , temperature rising as Mine . Some genuine smiles from people are exactly like a retard that just found out he is alive .Some are worst , they smile at the rose , the rose instantly turn to dust .That's different from me burning it by accident with my natural heat radiation .You call that instant decomposition .I think if the rose can talk it would be desperately asking you to let a dog eat it rather than see you smile .Imagine you were a guy and you spent a few hundred $ on a big bouquet of roses and when you are giving it to your lover , you smiled , then the roses decomposed .Maybe she would give you the credits for that lousy clown trick .Unlike mine , Burning roses . Unique and Innovative .Random fact , in a normal S$1 , it actually has the same amount as 100 1 cents . . . pretty cool uh . Another fact is , my smile could purify the air and that happens for a reason .It's again , due to my overpowering charm .yes , i hate it too . but what can i do . . . . I am able to charm the bacteria around me until they are purified plus holy and start to kill each other But it's different case for some people .Their smile breeds bacteriaIn fact , their smile is like a haven for bacterias So much that they can corrode anything that can feel it's smile 1 mile away .By that , i meant that having that kind of smile is equivalent to pouring a PH 1 acid to what ever unlucky stuff that was smiled on .Just a reminder , don't kill the butterflies , they are cute .Oh ya . Don't look into the mirror and check your smile because in reality , the mirror won't crack no matter how you look at it .And don't think that when it doesn't crack , your smile is human-like .The best way is to go to sleep and dreamJust smile to whoever you dreamt of .because that is the only foolproof plan . Nobody will think you are a retard and you will know the truth yourself in your dreams .maybe you cant wake up as that's the first time some one complimented on your smileOr maybe you decided to die in your sleep as you killed everyone you met in your dreams 1000 times .Another reminder , don't dream of the bullet proof monk . He has no emotions .-GuoLun
3:29 AM
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Wow . .
Did you read the papers?
I doubt so . . .
The headline goes : Virus or Voodooism ? H1UN2K2 has no cure in South Africa .
After reading this news , I got alot to say , like a bone stuck in my throat , never spit not happy .
I know you guys don't read the papers so , I , the mighty handsome guy , shall type it over here .
Basically there's a new virus going around in S.Africa called H1UN2K2 - Knuh (An African word )
It has no cure currently and proven by the US scientist that cure might not suffice 50 years down the road .
So , African Voodoos came to a conclusion where this pandemic isn't a virus but a Voodoo casted by their god itself .
In short , Human retribution .
Africa Voodoos long believed that Africa could not develop for many different mystical reasons and one of the main reasons they strongly believed was ,
Africa was the birth place of humans ,God's first human creation on earth.
But now , deserted by what it created .
So , destroying human was to complete what it started .
"Knuh" means complete in Africa
H1UN2K2 is a terminal disease and currently we have 2,000 South Africans dead 4,000 hospitalised and reports are expecting it to rise to 10,000 dead .
The virus has not been spread to Asia YET . So , lets see who dies 50 years from now .
-GuoLun
8:04 AM
Friday, July 17, 2009
Aaahh .
I am so tired this few days for no reasons . . .
sleeping like makes me wanna slp more .
I heard there's a person in our school that got h1n1 .
so , take care .
But for me , There's no need for that.
The air around me is purified thanks to my natural radiation that kills 99.9% bacteria and viruses.
I'm like a living Dettol , and an extremely charming one .
I charm the virus to me and poof* they got burn by my hotness the next instance .
You can hire me for $1,500 per hour only .
It's already discounted . So no bargaining.
-GuoLun
9:25 AM
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
What the . . . .
The world is changing . . .
This stupid idiot is called Borat.
He got the dumbest look ever and he don't even look like a caucasian.
He is like a bangla with weird mustache.
And a roof shaped hair.
And eyes that look like implanted ones
A pure retard.
. . . . . .
I can't believe my eyes
I said that because
This stupid picture below is him . . .
Not the baby .
He's a pedophile
What's the difference?
EVERYTHING
From a Gay to a Hunk .
This guy got some skills man .
I think he is planning some sort of evil stuff . . .
So , he's in a movie called Bruno and i wanna CATCH it .
I think it's gonna be dumb and funny.
Steal my picture if you want.
It just makes me feel good.
-GuoLun
3:47 AM
Sunday, July 12, 2009
OK hahaha .
I think my life is retarded .
Today i went to cut hair
and i asked for a wash too .
So the guy wash for me then he massage me or eat my tofu i dunno
the he press my neck there which is like so ticklish
Then i gave a sudden burst of laughter .
Then the stylist got shocked and look at me with a ' are you retarded? ' face .
But that stupid malaysian stylist go cut away my side burn
but it's still acceptable for me .
so i am going to sleep .
I'll be busy .
-GuoLun
8:53 AM
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Okay . . .
I've not been blogging for long for a sole reason .
Not because of the fact i am handsome
Don't anyhow guess if not Fairy Tooth Mother is not gonna grant your wish ok .
My sole reason is because i am preparing for war . . . .
Preparation is the most crucial part if I wanna even think of breathing in that isolated and treacherous container that is filled with cold-blooded retards .
So today is the war .
In the hall .
It was my destiny . . . My mission for life . . . and a test of true courage
Unfortunately . . . my preparations wasn't complete .
In fact . . . . . I actually never prepare a single thing . . . . That is just the tip of my bravery . . .
I was optimistic so I did not gave up the slightest hope !!!
As I see my comrades slowly decrease I suddenly felt despair , hopeless and an agony that can never be explained . . .
It was as if Mdm.Armrittttt was walking slowly towards me with a sheepish smile and a bazooka in her hands .
I tried to find my Ak-74 but . . . I couldn't even find a banana . . .
In the end . . . I was forced to use my secret ultimate weapon . . . .
. . . My charm ( holy sound)
It was my turn . . .
I took my first mighty step and made my way to the enemy's base .
There was no defense and it only took me 5mins to reach the final boss level .
Although it's unfair cus it's 2 against one (me) but I still managed to slay them with my mighty charm-shot .
I guess I survived this war after all . . .
Victory !!
-GuoLun
2:16 AM
