Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Okay Shit . . .
I'm nearly in the worst case scenario now . . .
I've been having fever for 5 days .
Which is totally a whole new epic experience for me
As a kid , I thought having fever for 5 days was the coolest adventure I could have in my life .
The feeling is like hero amongst heroes , Bird amongst birds
But now , I have grown up and it's time to think wisely and like a mature man . . .
Now , to me , having fever for 5days is like trying to admit i am really physically hot .
Ahh . I tried to deny it by overdosing myself with panadols and I finished those retarded medicine i was given by the doctor in a day . ( I Lied , morons . )
BUT , my fever did not subside .
My lowest is 37.8 which is now
And my highest was 39.3 .
I admire those who are physically hot "Challenged"
Because they don't have to feel this pain . . .
That's good news .
-GuoLun
5:07 AM
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Oh . . .
I am down with fever and flu and aches . . .
I know that don't sound good at all
. . .
I went to see the doctor .
The doctor said i won't die because i am classed as an I.H (Immortal Hunk) .
But . . . It's me who knows my body the best . . .
I know in my heart . . . I can't make it through this night . . . cough* . . cough*
So , Here . . are my last words . . . . vomit blood*
There's a secret i wanna share with everyone . . . . Asthma*
I . . . can't really die . . . Dying*
When i die , My whole body ignites in flames that burns until I am reduced to ashes . .
From which , I am revived and free of illness .
AAHH !!
I am burning !!!
Help!!
My butt !!
Anyways now i know Decepticon have testicles
- GuoLun
6:06 AM
Monday, June 22, 2009
AAhh . . . .
Baby I love you .
I cant love you more than anything else . . .
When i touch you gently , you feel so smooth , so fresh .
Your skin resembles paper , flawlessly and carefully made .
I took off your cap , And then i took a quick sniff .
Oh gosh ! You sure smell unique like an angel's shampoo . . . .
When my lips touched you , I felt this connection , everlasting , as if time had stopped for just the both of us .
I stretched my tongue , licked inside thoroughly but slowly with affection and tasted what's in your mouth .
The liquid tasted like mixed berries
So , I decided to suck some of this sweetness into my own mouth .
Although this isn't the first time we sinned , but everytime we got connected , I just feel so high like in heaven .
It seems like you contain some nicotine in your breath that got me so addicted to you .
When my lips reluctantly part with yours , What's left is your mixed berry flavored air flowing like a wanderer inside my mouth .
I could close my eyes and enjoy it's taste it all night until it gradually melts and fades away.
As crazy as it sounds , We actually did this for a few times a day occasionally .
Oh , How i wish this could be a daily routine . . . It's kinda healthy you know .
Oh my darling . . . . I am missing you everytime you are not with me .
Why is it that you can't always be by my side ?
It's very saddening you know . . .
Hey my dear ,
I've got an Idea ,
I shall put a picture of you to keep you in my mind. . . .
Love you ,
.
.
.
.
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
.
.
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.
.
<3
<3
<3
<3
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.
.
.
-GuoLun
9:05 AM
Friday, June 19, 2009
Today Is my BIRTHDAY ! 19 JUNE !
You were born on 19th of June 1992.
:: Originality.
:: Come with new idea.
:: Get something with your own way.
:: Honest and a quick learner.
:: Initiative and pick the best choice in everything.
:: Boss or a leader.
:: Self employed suit them best.
:: Good things to learn ; other idea and opinion are better; think wisely.
Thanks for the Awesome and Original wishes guys !!!
They really mean alot to me .
I've never felt warmer in my heart on my previous Birthdays .
Thank You .
So , I went to Puma store and was touched by this belt til I cried on the spot .
It has a name . . .
The Ultimate PUMA Coffee Bean Golf Belt .
When i first saw it , I instantly felt the undeniable strong bond between us , Just exactly like Thunder And Lightning
A bond that burns stronger than any flame , A voice that whispers the Roar of the mighty Lion .
It feels that we had knew each other for countless past lives , Like the never ending cycle of nature.
So , I instantly knew , We had to be together once again .
I called for the salesman
She was a women .
hehehehe .
So , It's time to use my charm and charisma to the fullest .
And of course , as expected , She was more than melted ,
and i call that , Evaporated .
I got that belt at only $3.00 .
Less than $5 for a PUMA golf belt .
Whoopee ~~~
Cool ah .
I spent on other merchandises too
Which made me broke . . .
Belated gifts will still be accepted .(Terms and Conditions Apply)
-GuoLun
4:56 AM
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Yea , I know . . .
Everyone have their own untold sad pasts . . .
That includes me . . .
Although you always see me smiling charmingly here and there , but there's a truth behind it .
And the truth is , I will always ponder upon my gloomy past , with a heavy heart before sleep . . . . . . and it's really really unbearable . . . .
I cried every night before i sleep . . . There's no need for a mirror to know that i cried till i have blood shot eyes . . .
Tonight, I shall share my deepest , darkess secrets of my past , my life. . .
Secrets you never know existed , never know they always dwells within me . . .
Now , If you are willing my friend , I sincerely hope you can read what I have been through
So , I can finally share my sorrows with you and lift my burdens a just little . . . . and I will be glad .
Go on .
I shall start with my unforgettable home land ,
The Sahara Desert .
Aahh . . . this picture brings back memories . . . . bitter ones . . .
Through my life in Sahara , I was treated worst than camel shit .
At least nobody can treat them badly .
The white people there were racist . damn !
They thought i was a barbarian so they treated me like a camel . . .
And now , here's a picture of my boss ,
Sir Ribena Purple Mustard. (He's Gay)
He used to rape guys in jail .
I was forced to work for him as a coal digger and they call that position - Dig , which sounds wrong .
But I have lots of friends too !!!
And I love them ONE HELL LOT !!!
I can't imagine my life there without them man . . .
Life would totally suck .
Let me introduce them to you .
.
.
.
.
Erm
.
.
.
.
Actually , I forgot all their names . . . haha
But I've got a good reason for that ok .
The reason is straight forward ,
They all died
Some got contaminated with AIDS , Old Senile , Heat stroke , Swine flu , Bird flu , SARS , Poisoned by rattle snake , Tuberculosis , Breast cancer .
But one of them got contaminated with all I mentioned . . . . sad piece of charcoal . . . . May you rest in piece . . . . ( Tears of sadness)
But of course , I have happy times too ,
See my smiley face .
I'm the one behind the middle guy !
Can't you see ??
Isn't my smile so wide that you can't measure it ?
And a picture of my two best friend below
We Always play hide and seek in the morning and they always get caught by me .
Unfortunately , they died too .
Their names are Tom(on the right) and Dick ( on the left) .
Their brother , Harry Died because he tripped and fall . . . . Sigh * . . . . Pathetically Weak .
Yea . . . That's about all . . . . . I'm feeling way better if you really read them .
Thanks , You are truly my super friend !!
I don't think i can survive this night without you . . . .
Thank you again . . . . smile . . . . . muacks <3
-GuoLun
8:01 AM
Monday, June 15, 2009
HELP ME ! FREE ME !
SOMEBODY !!!! PLEASE!!!
. . . .
help ! help ! help !
I think i need some serious help .
I need help from adults that can convince me .
I am desperate . . . . .
Why why why !!!
. . .
I have been having the same nightmares for countless nights . . .
It was supposed to be the sweetest dream but . . . it eventually freak me out to the max .
It was so terrifying and horrifying. It's worst than a sinking Titanic dream .
I knew in my dream that it was a dream but i can't seem to react .( that is already making me pee in my pants )
My body move by itself as if i was being controlled by another being .(That was enough for me to suicide without regrets.)
It was so frightening ! Aahh !! I scared !!!
The first few nights was ok as it was rather shiok to have a nightmare once in a while .
But then , the situation changed for the worst . . .
Like a soothing drizzle that suddenly turned into a cyclonic typhoon thunder windy plus lighting and blizzard and fire and meteor storm .
Now , I don't even dare to sleep even with my Limited Edition Mega-Teddy-Ranger 2000 stuff toy and my 50% discounted $3.90 Osama clay figure is beside me . . .
So I came to a conclusion . . .
This very once in a blue moon fatal pandemic cum trauma . . . or so
Is caused by . .
The mighty fact that i am a HUNK. ( clap clap clap)
I have been dreaming about guys , girls , gays , lesbian asking me for my autographs , pictures, contacts . . . . etc
They even want me to sign on their underwear , face blah blah .
And they like go crazy when i sneeze or cough .
When i sad they will go suicide , when i happy they will go kill each other .
Walao ,
Every corner , every place , every minute , every where , every shop , every hiding place all also got those people asking for me .
It's like I am the strongest magnet in the world and the are iron nails.
I just keep attracting them no matter what .
I think i have to declare gay .
That will minimise my own casualties .
So , my enemies are now only gays .
In order to make world peace for me ,
I , The GayterminatorEX555/123321
shall exterminate gays from this Blue and Round Ball once and for all . . . .
This is a top secret project not even G.Bushy Knows.
- PROJECT - MOJO JOJO .
And I , the GayterminatorEX555/123321 shall reveal my plans !.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
1) bomb the toilets of gay clubs so that their bladder will burst and they die.
2)Act like a police man and fine Gays US$10000000 for nothing. So they will declare bankrupt and die of starvation.
3) Bring a rifle out and shoot whoever i think is Gay
4) Burn down all shops that sell tight shirts and pink guy shirts So Gays will die of coldness .
5) Claim my self the world's best Gay exterminator . The GayterminatorEX555/123321 .And cast fear in all Gaykinds
And i will be remembered as a Hero FOREVER (Three Cheers !!)
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
-GuoLun
4:49 AM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
OK fck . Believe it or not .
I'm now in the hospital blogging . . .
You know why?
All thanks to the Chalet
I fell of arbardi's bike cus his break was like super?
I fell forward and gosh one of my ribs near my chest poke out of my body . . .
Then alot of blood spurt out .
It was so pain until i cant feel any pain and i cant move and my mind was like blank.
then i think i fainted . All i remembered was it was PAINFUL
Then when i woke up , i was in this stupid small white room .
No air-con , no ppl , only me my bed a table a chair and four walls .
At first i thought i died .
But then i smell this stupid medicine smell then i realize i was in the hospital .
And I cant move and feel for some reasons . I think they inject my body with the numb thingy .
So i like blank stare at the celling for a few hours then a nurse came .
And i finally realise nurses are STUPID and NAGGY.
you know what she say ?
" Oh just wake up ah . good i go call the doctor . "
"Young boys should not fight leh . Will ruin your future "
Blah blah.
I cant talk or move so i cant reply .
And there she goes nagging thinking I got injured from a gang fight and she think i Emoing. WTH
I was like praying she would leave faster .
Before she left , she did something that pissed me off to the core .
I think she knows I am thirsty so she poured a cup of water for me .
And i cannot move right which i think she is stupid enough to not know .
So she stare at me and i stare back .
Then she say " Don't want drink ah"
and the next thing she did was drank it herself .
WTH .
She should like help me up and let me drink .
And then after awhile the doctor came and blah blah until every thing was done .
And I'm alone again.
Doctor told me my body lost alot of blood and he numb my body so i am relaxed and the blood can flow and can only move the next day.
So now's the next day .
And of course , i have a few pictures i wanna share .
Waiting for Alien VS monster to start.
I love this pic . I am so cute .
The paris Beach
Nice right . Cus I take one .
Hunk spotted on the beach
This is my favorite picture . I love it.
This one my second favorite.
Ok.
I need to rest now , If not i cant recover .
Bye .
-GuoLun
4:34 AM
Monday, June 8, 2009
Oh man . . .
It's been quite long since i last posted.
Sorry .
Handsome people are just busy people .
Get use to me .
I have to attend like 20 dates per day and I'm left with a few hours of rest when I'm back .
This is how tiring a hunk's life can be . . .
But on the good side , I'm paid to date .
So , $200 per hour is pretty awesome
I sounds like a gigolo job but , the difference is , I get to choose who i want to date .
And obviously i would choose those with charm that are near mine .
And i got a part time job at Clarke Quay
Guess my job .
Here's the clue -
It's the most innovative and up-to-date job in Singapore or rather , Asia .NO , in fact , It's the world .
Haha can't guess right?
Yep , I'm selling winks @ $25 per wink including a photo shot together (max 3 person) .
You can some visit me in Clarke Quay on weekends at 8pm - 12mn .
It's easy to find me cus I'm the most handsome there .
If you are still too dumb and can't find me , Feel free to ask people where is the most handsome guy in Clarke Quay .
They might punch you or throw you into the Singapore river due to your lack of sincerity towards MY handsomeness .
But eventually , you will get to find me , the hunk .
Hold on i got a msg . .
Alright . .not again . .
Another date . .
Wow , It's Camila Belle !!
What the . another msg .
From Angelina Jolie . Nah she's too ugly .
Wait a sec . . Another msg !
Oh man . . . not Jennifer Aniston agian . . .
Ah this is nvr ending .
OK , I'm off to date .
Bye .
-GuoLun
5:56 AM
Sunday, June 7, 2009
aww . . . .
I'm loving June so much .
how i wish every mth is June .
I got so many things to post but i dunno which to start with .
So , i think i will wait .
-GuoLun .
8:16 AM
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Oh no . . .
. . . Mishaps happens everyday .
Now , I'm gonna share one of my few thousand daily mishaps as a Hunk .
Heard of stalkers before ?
Yea . . . those that follow others out of obsession , Charm obsession for my case .
And some more pro stalkers use technology to the fullest .
When they can't stalk you physically ,
They stalk you by sitting down . . . In front of their Computer !! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
wait . . why am i laughing ?
OKOK . So , in short , I am being stalked .
But , neither through both of those i mentioned .
I am being stalked . . . MENTALLY ( lightning flashes)
This kind of stalkers are called MIND STALKERS .
It won't happen to you guys so don't worry cause you guys are not Hunks .
Mind stalkers stalk you through their own minds .
They can imagine whatever kind of thing that got to do with you and him or herself .
For example ,
They can imagine me eating a lollipop and skipping home happily then stalk me from behind .
That's so wicked .
They can do this anywhere any time
In short , I am being stalked 24/7 , 54/365
And the worst thing , It's like 10,000 people stalking me .
WTH
But i dun blame them . . .
This is like a burden all real hunks have .
I shall end this post without satisfying you .
Too bad. who ask you want read .
-GuoLun
1:44 AM
Monday, June 1, 2009
Alright .
China language is over !
Time to forget everything about that .
But i cant seem to forget one word - 帥
it seems like hunks are meant to remember words that describe them .
Anyway , I noticed something .
On msn , most of the PMs are like saying their life suck or whatever stuff that are pessimistic
You know , some people will read them .
Don't say you don't care or act blur
But it sometimes hurt your friends too , unknowingly .
I say it's pretty selfish .
Share your troubles with your friends , not keep them like treasure and you go no where in the end .
But of course , keep personal stuff to your families or super close friends . The walls have ears .
We as good friends are more than willing to help out , that's for sure .
So , put up some optimist messages there , let them know indirectly you are having a nice day :) .
It soothes everybody and who knows you might cheer someone's day ?
-GuoLun
7:10 AM
