Saturday, December 26, 2009

I think I have became a No Lifer .

Everyday , My motivation to pass through the long day is because I want to grow my hair.

Hair needs time to grow right .

Then , If I feel like doing something ,

I would go to the Gym .

Gyming is getting really addictive to me .

I dunno why .

I like to feel really tired and then feel like sleeping .

I think I got to make plans for my next few weeks.

Then at least I am doing something .

I want to try new stuffs .

It seems fun .

-GuoLun

8:18 AM

Friday, December 25, 2009

I saw 2 Perverts on my bus today!!

Omg .

Girls , When changing clothes in the toilet or trying new clothes outside ,

PLEASE !!

Check your surroundings for cameras especially above .

Don't think you go in close the door safe already .

Don't act like stupid Bimbos , Tammy #2

It's like going into a Lion's den and getting eaten up and you dunno how you died .

Ok , let me tell you what i saw .

As you know , I am tall .

I have one advantage that short people never thought of .

Which is I can Easily peep into what people are doing with their phone .

Like their sms content , what they looking at , what video blah . . . .

You are short and When you look Down into your phone ,

you will think nth much is happening above as long as I don't make any big movements .

Actually it's really common sense that i can do that .

Okay so ,

These 2 guys were sitting in front of me in a SBS bus

One of them look really shitty and the other look like a trustworthy shit .

They were chit chatting about something in their phone .

So I kaypo go look .

And what !

They were browsing through an ALBUM of girls changing clothes .

Some pictures still can see their face one .

zzz

It's really alot .

I think there's bout 100 of them ?

I know not because I also look ok .

It's because they were chatting 'happily' all along the journey .

I Didn't be a hero and report them .

Cause I know it's useless catching these 2 while there are few thousand people that can download .

Prevention is definitely better .

people can download all these easily ,

it's best to stop the producer then naturally , no more downloaders .

So , girls ,

It's too bad you were born a female ,

It is a must to protect yourselves unless you prostitute .

I don't wanna see my friend's nude pictures in the News .

-GuoLun

5:32 AM

Monday, December 21, 2009

Am I like Out of Date .

Everybody's using Tumblr .

I Don't feel like changing cause I might get spotted for my talented talent

As a Hunk of course .

Recently , I'm so into Legs .

Omg , It's like a normal human has two legs .

And I just realised how much and how wonderful this two legs can do .

You can walk if you have 2 legs .

This also means that If you have one leg or no legs , You can't walk .

It's pretty straight forward .

There are many different kinds of Legs that I can list all day .

Like , Hairy , Elephant , Mango and Pineapples etc .

Elephant Legs are those like you know ,

Fat , Short .

Totally uncool .

Mango Legs are like On top like sand dune below like peanut .

Unproportional ,

Something like when you compare people playing Black Jack seriously to people playing Domino in the toilet .

Totally Unproportional.

Pineapple Legs means having Hair on the legs that are so sharp and pointy that you can have them as an Emergency Supper .

It's like when you go Kopitiam , And you realise you no toothpick to eat your Ba Chor Mee ( Chinese Pork Spaghetti ) .

Ah , that's when you pluck off your leg hair and use it to the fullest .

Fullest means Eat your Leg hair instead of your Head Hair

You Don't wanna eat your Head Hair in case it turns into Duck Porridge in your stomach .

I'm sure you know what's Hairy legs

It's like you accidentally ate a Bristle-Toothed Semi Purple Gorilla Thigh and It wanted revenge so it curse your Legs to be hairy .

It's not manly .

It's more like Manliness . Manly sounds abit gay .

And what's up with the Ten Toes I have ?

It's too many .

I don't even know what to do with one .

As I look at my toes , they are like Coral Reefs .

You know , When you wriggle them it's like Nemo swimming in your toes .

Yeah , then you try to find it to make it ' Finding Nemo' .

I think that's how the director thought of it's title .

Pretty Lame for a director .

And my knee , It kinda look like a Hamster .

Cute .

I like the bulging part .

The part where you use it to scrub the living room floor .

It's Round and kinda resembles my Balls Basket .

And above my Knees is my thigh muscles .

It's hard like a Frozen Chicken Kebab without tomato .

And I dunno why my thigh is connected to my body .

It looks so weird .

I prefer it connected to my face

I look Tuna like that .

And that's what I call Cool .

-GuoLun

4:17 AM

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Okay .

Have you ever like bathe half way then you forgot whether you had used the soap and shampoo ?

I almost ALWAYS experience that

It's like I've been bathing for the hundred thousand time and it's so boring inside.

So , I decided to think of stuff to entertain myself .

Like , why am I so hot .

But then after i think of that , I forgot whether i got put soap already or not .

It's like irritating .

I would stop there and think for 5 mins then in the end play safe bathe again .

What the .

Can someone invent something that tells me if i have used soap already not .

And I heard some Korean superstars is coming to my country .

What the heck are those Koreans trying to do ?

Are they like trying the impossible to charm those girls when I am at the same country?

What ?!?

Can like their Agent tell them to wake up their stupid idea ?

I the Hunk is over here !

Hello?

Yeah , You Korean Superstars look really really good , like wow .

But , I over here , is looking way way much better than you all .

Try to crack an Egg on your palm and cook scrambled eggs .

Lets see if you can do that .

They are like stepping into my place and claim that they are hot .

It's like a piece of Double Cheese Burger that tells me it is going to eat me up .

What the heck .

I'm not trying to shatter the hearts of those pretty faces , but , Better tell them to go back .

Cause , I , the 100% pure hot guy without Plastics in my skins

Is gonna be the only Hot guy in my country , my continent , my planet .

I dunno why , there is this bunch of Gundus that still persist on liking them .

Well , It's their life , They have no taste .

The only category i can think of that likes Korean Guys are Girls .

They like to hear their song ( which they most proly dunno what it means ) , act like Korean , AND the worst case scenario for me ,

Which is to think or fantasize they are in a relationship with one of them .

What !?!?!

Not saying that fantasizing is wrong but if you do it occasionally , you are no better than a retard in IMH .

Know what's Siao Zha Borh ?

Yah , That's those people .

I tell you what some did .

They bought everything that got to do with that superstar and spend like an Atomic Bomb .

Memorise their lyrics which they can't pronounce properly .

In the end . . . Those Korean boys don't even know them .

And all the money spent goes into the pockets of the producers , not the boys .

When you old , you regret .

BUT , there's a remedy for this .

Spend on me .

The Hunk .

At least you can get to know me real life not just chasing them when they come for sessions .

I will be a little grateful if you buy the whole orchard road for me .

or like buy me a country , maybe Russia ?

Not bad also .

Okay this is really a fact .

I'm not saying this cause I'm jealous or what .

Believe me , 99% celebs are not virgins .

Ya i don't believe it at first.

Until I saw with my own eyes that Wu zun , Yan Ya Lun all admitted they are not virgins

It was shocking cause Ya lun is only like 19 yrs old .

And then ltr on I realised most of them are really not virgins .

But still , some stupid girls still wan them .

Best get cheated

I be the first in queue to laugh

-GuoLun

6:14 AM

Monday, December 14, 2009

Aw man . . .

I'm sick !

Really !

I am down with Flu n Sore throat .

I think cus i ate too many Fish N' Chips .

I like to eat that . But i hate squeezing the lemons on it

I dunno why I hate fries .

But i like it when I stuff them in my mouth and chew .

Cus when it's inside my mouth , It has a nice potato taste .

If eat it piece by piece , it's like too salty and too small

HEY WAIT .

Wait wait wait . . . .

Something's wrong .

Why am I telling you guys about my life as a hunk .

But nvm , since I am sick , I shall be a good guy .

I got a good tip on how to be happy ( which I use )

haha

I always thought if you cant be happy from the inside , then Smile .

If you can't be happy from the outside , recall something nice .

If you can't be happy from the outside or inside , then do both !

It always works for me .

I dunno bout you guys .

But I do know that if you don't believe you can be happy or be proud of being happy ,

You Never Ever will be .

Oh , I know Girls like to have slim waist

I also like girls that got nice waist .

So , I'm gonna share a practical and good technique here.

Don't need spend money one .

which is to

1) Do Hula Hoops !!!!

Hula hoop uses all your waist muscles including your thighs .

Do like 15mins everyday and after a few months you will have a model's waist !!!

It's worth the time . Really .

And don't play cheat .

2) Don't Ever do sit ups or jog .

You will grow abs by doing sit ups

and it looks really gruesome on girls .

You will really grow fatter if you jog without eating proper meals everyday .

Because you will get hungry and will eat alot after jogging

Fat burns when you rest , not when jogging .

And what happens when your fats is burning and you get so hungry and start eating again?

Yeah , you grow fat again .

You don't eat , you faint .

And of cus , if possible don't take slimming pills or skip meals or whatever .

I think they do more bad than good .

Every path has it's puddle .

-GuoLun

6:25 AM

Monday, December 7, 2009

Hi dear readers ,

It's the first time I ever said hi over here , so , be honored .

Hmm . .

Have you guys ever have this want to get into the future but afraid ?

I mean like , wanting to know the answer but afraid it's not what you'd like to hear .

Yeah , admit it guys , Cus I'm also one of them .

Days and Nights passed , that it even reached months ever since I've gotten this phobia of the future .

It's like , I'm so hot already .

If I grew hotter , It would be the end of the world . . . .

As I thought of it ,

I might even kill myself accidentally cus I'm too hot !!

I want to know the answer that lies before me , Whether It's going to burn this paper heart of mine ?

Yes or No ?

But it's so terrifying ! I scared !!

My heart wrenched everyday , Thinking about this nearly every few minutes . .

I really really want to know it .

But , I'm a coward , I don't wanna get hurt .

If it's No , I can stay with everybody like normal .

But ,

If it's Yes , I will have to leave everybody once and for all .

Because I would be SO DELIGHTED !!!! .

If it's yes , I could go on into my own Fiery world .

And leave everything behind !

I heard Planet Honeymoon is extremely HOT down there .

How cool is that ?

Guess you guys don't know what I'm talking about .

I mean , as a hunk , living normally is tough .

Really .

Like a mud skipper living on land ,

I will have to go into the water every now and then to survive .

Suffocating .

But I know of a Remedy ,

It is only possible if the answer is a Yes .

And I really hope it would be .

This stupid heavy thought is going to disappear with my burning powers

I know of a person who can give me the most accurate answer .

Should I ask ?

I think so .

The answer had already been set ever since this question came into my mind .

Yeah ,

Soon , It's gonna be the time that I know if My heart can resist my burning !!

HAHAHAHAHAHA .

-GuoLun .

7:31 AM

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'm recently into this song - Soaked by Adam Lambert .

He is gay and so is the song.

I especially like this part of the lyrics inside -

It's not the first time , It's not the worst crime , Your soul will be okay .

It's like so motivating !!!

To get you back on track if you ever got depressed or broken down .

I guess I'm gonna have to use it if i ever fall .

Like for example ,

If one day , I ever kill somebody on the streets with my charm , It's not the first time , It's not the worst crime , Your soul will be okay .

It's so , marvelous .

It basically tells me that it's really ok if i were to kill people with my charm accidentally.

Because if it's not ok ,

Then the few billions of people I've killed would definitely haunt me .

Wait . . . I think they would still haunt me . . . . .

To thank me for killing them that way .

Hey , c'mon ,

Not anyone could die like that just because they want to .

It's like an honor .

You can only die once like this

And if you were to die this way , I'm certain you'd rather die a thousand times like this .

It's addictive ok .

I'm so bored nowadays .

I really hope something interesting is going to happen in my life .

It is believed by some people that ,

How long you love somebody is How long it takes to forget that somebody .

Isit true ?

I dunno .

But I'm very sure that ,

If you force yourself to forget something , It just makes it clearer in your mind .

It's basic common sense which is uncommon in most people

Like ,

Many tried their best to forget how much of a Hunk I am , But in the end , I became a Hunk that is stuck on their mind 24/7 .

Actually , There's nothing in me to forget .

I am like the meaning of beauty .

Every time you talk about beauty , I am the best description .

"So ,What's Beauty ?"

"Oh , It's GuoLun . "

So simple .

An average female thinks about her appearance 36 times a day .

That's what i heard on the radio .

That's so unlike Hunks .

The truth behind the scenes is that ,

Me , as a hunk , Think about other people appearance more than myself .

When i see people putting in so much effort on what they wear ,

I start to wonder ,

Is this fair ?

They look like some . . . . things . ( I don't wanna be a Jerk . )

and they wear so nice and gorgeous.

It's like trying to make them more ugly .

Put a nice looking person beside a super ugly person ,

And the nice look on the nice looking person would amplify .

Put a nice looking person beside a nicer looking person ,

And the nice look on the nice looking person would degrade .

Get what i mean ?

Wearing nice looking shirt when you are not that nice looking would make you look really not nice looking .

So , as a Hunk , I shall give you guys some fashion tips .

- Wear not to impress , and you will look more impressive than someone who puts effort in what they wear .

For example , you wear Singlet , Shorts and Slippers to town .

By right , It's really a NO and you should not even consider it .

But think again , People that goes to town wears clothes that are so nice .

Competing would be hard if you can think .

And nobody wants to lose !

If you wear Singlet Shorts and Slippers ,

No one can compete with you ,

You can't lose ,

They won't laugh ,

And what's more ,

They will stare at you !!!

It's not because you are weird ,

It's because they are impressed until they can't speak , only can stare !!

See,

It's so simple .

Try it ! .

-GuoLun

9:13 AM

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Oh ,

Missing the hunk's posts ?

The blog's handsome owner is just too cool to blog .

But he later realised that he wasn't cool at all . . . . he was magnificently HOT !

Let me give you a Riddle I just thought of .

-What do you call me If I were a Bird ?

I'll give you the answer later on .

For now ,

Lemme tell you what I hate now .

I really super duper hate those Bloody Gundus running in the MRT station .

Not because they are trying to tell everybody that they are rushing (which everyone is most likely to )

Nor they make stupid weak amateur idiotic pathetic homo panting faces infront of me .

BUT I'm so pissed off at some of the reactions later on .

They steal away my attracted attention ,

They pollute my clean air above with their Morning-Breath-of-Death ,

They run and after knocking into countless people they have to wait like those that had been knocked on .

These are all the minority actually ,

The Major Crime that they did is actually knocking into me and never say something important !!!!!

Not 'Sorry' to those dumbasses who are guessing .

It's 'OUCH !' in agony and pain !!

Without saying that is like trying to say I'm unHot and touching me doesn't burn you .

It's like what only .

If it's hot , please , scream and moan , It's normal anyway .

I'm Hot , It's a fact .

Nobody can change it .

Now that I think of it ,

Just by being Good Looking , has already given some people the reason to hate you and the want to take everything away from you .

I wonder if there are terrorist in the Station trying to kidnap me and threaten the world with my life . . . .

It's OK if I die But ,

I'm quite concerned for the future of Earth Planet without me .

Because without me ,

It will be Ice Age again the next Millisecond .

I think I better ask Jacky Chan to do some Chinese Twin Dragon Double Somersault Toe Poke with a Hong Kong style Flying Monkey and Shy Gorilla Slap on Osama .

I think Osama most likely die lah .

Great Chan thinks alike .

He must also be thinking that I'm a - One of a Kind Hunk .

Anyway , Does saying Chan after a person's name means that person is Cute , in Japan ?

It's like Originated from me .

I'm so Cute that a word is made from me ?

That's Believable .

Then does saying Chan infront of a person name means that the person is like indescribably Cute to the extend where his cuteness is like , Boom Boom Pow ?

I think so , Cause I'm one of them !

Yeah .

Oh yeah , The answer for my Riddle is - Phoenix !

-GuoLun

3:35 AM

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Time flies . . . .

It has been months since i blogged about my actual life .

I gotta admit that some of the posts I posted are fictions . . . . BUT , It's only 1% .

Like I am trying my best not to melt the arctic ice but failed .

And , Actually there's supposed to be 2 suns and I gobbled one up .

I apologise for lying .

Whatever .

So , today , I'm gonna talk about my life !!!

Aren't you guys Excited ?? Yeah , I can tell from your Enthusiastic human faces !!

I'll try to blurt out whatever I think is super interesting .

Hmmm . . . .

Life as a Hunk . . .

What do you guys think about it ?

It's actually torturing and disgusting . And much worst .

Not like wow , humans look at you like they just saw an Angel .

Although i am an 49% Angel .( the rest is Hunk)

Yea , I enjoy people Admiring at me .

But not to the extend where you want to buy my Picture for US$1111.11 ?!?!

And you even chop of your arm and throw it at me just to touch me ?

And what's worst , you actually poisoned yourself and purposely die infront of me just to say I am hot ?

Aww . . .

Now , I feel like I'm a Jerk . . . .

No . . . Herk . .

. . . . Hercules .

Yea , he is just part of me too .

Anyway , Just feel like saying that , Everything has a price to pay .

Like me being Hot Equals to Earth being heated .

Me being Charming Equals to humans faint upon my activation of charm .

Me being Electrifying Equals to Thunderstorms in Singapore .

Aaahh ,

How i wish there isn't much to pay .

I just wanna help humans by heating Earth so they can survive properly .

But . . . . Why cant i just be Unhot ?

Oh yeah . . .

I nearly forgot that I'm in-human , I'm a Hunk .

Uh . Now I know . That's why .

The earth is round . You know why ?

Cause round stuff is easier to digest .

I have already eaten a few planets .

You know the new planet on this solar system ?

It's actually my Shit .

I dunno why it got stuck there .

But , soon , It will explode .

My shit doesn't contain Methane , But , Methunk .

It's like 100 times more flammable than Methane .

But , at the same time , 1000000 times slower to react than methane .

Maybe that will be the cause of the End of the world in 2012 .

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Wow . I just realised that there are many different kinds of students .

Like Idiotic , Retarded , Dumb , Amateurs and of course , Handsome .

Although all i mentioned except Handsome sounds more or less the same ,

But you're wrong wrong wrong !!! .

They might only sound the same because some students , or all students u know have these four qualities .

Let me briefly explain what are all these .

Idiotic students are those that keep asking stuff the teacher doesn't wan to say .

Like their pay , their life etc .

Like man , you can roughly guess it right ? .

How many wives or husband can a teacher have ?

10 ?

Where can they stay when they are teaching in Singapore ?

Japan ?

And so what if you know , you just made yourself more irritating .

Idiots .

Retarded students .

This are the retard and steady people .

yeah , slow and steady wins the race , but definitely not the retarded way .

They do maths when it's science lesson , eat when it's not recess .

Like wow , you're so slow , you're eating yesterday's breakfast during maths .

Like they got so excited and happy when they score zero for their test and started cheering and celebrating

But then cry later on like 7hours later because they fail

So , you're excited that you're gonna cry later ?

retards .

And Dumb students ,

They are the most easily recognised and most abundance in our school .

Their favorite word is 'Huh' and ' What'

They can say like 100 of these per day .

When you say left , they go right .

It's more or less like wearing a headband that writes " I am Dumb please treat me like a Dumbass"

Dumb .

And Amateurs .

I somehow find these kind of students cute .

You can't blame them for being an amateur in being a student .

Teachers don't teach you how to be a professional student .

It's all up to your common sense .

These students always go against teacher but never win .

They like to attract attention through their conversation .

For example , they talk loudly , scold vulgarities and purposely make teachers scold them .

Then behind their back , say the teachers .

LOL.

Cute aren't they .

Their pride comes from how many teachers scold them .

To them , the more teacher hates and scold them , the more he can show off .

" Eh , Today I confirm win you one . Cause Lady luck on my side , got 20 teacher scold me sia . you leh ? " .

Amateurs .

And even though all these kind of 'Negative' students brings the moods of teacher and innocent student's down ,

There's still one kind of 'Positive' student that exist in this world .

Their sole reason for studying is to relief the teachers . . . .

They are like angels sent from heaven .

Even after countless attempts of reviving the moods due to those crappy students , teachers still fail .

Until , this kind of students come into their life .

They are called , Handsome students .

Just a glimpse of them can soothe any kind of disastrous mood the teacher holds .

If you see teachers fainting , It's just them looking at the handsome student too many times .

It's normal .

But of course , such a good delight doesn't come in a bunch .

They are unique .

Which actually means that there's only one of them in the world .

I shall be straight forward .

It is me .

yes .

I am the savior for the teaching world .

Without me , there would be no school , no education , no future .

I am so important that I am allowed to do anything i like .

Like burn the toilet , barbecue the hall .

I'm hot .

You're welcomes teachers .

Handsome !

-GuoLun

1:28 AM

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Friday, December 25, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Monday, December 14, 2009

Monday, December 7, 2009

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

My Hot World

My Beauty Self

My Victims

My Charming Past

My Fans